Waiting for my Sentence to End
by ClassicLover984
Summary: This is what happens when you just stop basic interaction, his daydreaming is his biggest problem. The boy is music and...If you like him, you will read. I do not own any of the artist mentioned!
1. Chapter 1:This is what It is

Hey people I do not own this Naruto thingy! What can I say I am still a lover of writing!

**Chapter 1: This is what it is**

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My headphones are blaring and Temari is bitching at Kankuro about bringing the pots in first. "I told you, I need the fucking bedroom stuff first!" Kankuro rolls his eyes. "If it's that important, get it yourself." Keep in mind he never says it loud enough for her to hear. I walk up the stairs to my new bedroom with Clutch's _the mob goes wild_, loud enough to where I can pretend not hear Temari call me. A new city, new house, and the shittiest of all…a new school, I hate being the new kid. This is our eighteenth move since I was six…I always thought it was stupid, but Temari said dad has to go where the work is. He's a technical support genius and he hates me.

Not just my music, my all black gear, or eyeliner, I mean that man really hates me. I'm not sure where I went wrong, but he just despises me. Most of the time he just shakes his head in disappointment and at dinner he barely acknowledges my presents. When I was younger, it used to bother me and then I just decided that as long as I had my siblings that everything would be fine. To be honest, that just made me retreat further into myself and music became my way out. It helped with the constant rejection and glares of others. Temari and Kankuro do make it better, and I will never tell either of them that. They make my sentence here on earth not so bad to bear.

"Gaara, I know you hear me talking to you!" I look over my shoulder at Temari with an unwavering glare. "I need you to help me finish setting up Dad's bed, so there is one least thing on our list." I just nod and follow her into the master bedroom. "The headboard and mattresses need to be put in place, and then you can go back to unpacking." I just nod. About seven years ago, I decided that talking was a waste of time, and so I only speak when a real need arises…which is very rare. And on that list, I added laughing, smiling, and any other extra emotions that require energy.

I think over time I just decided that my own company was a lot less complicated and beside other people annoy me. Yes, I said it! People annoy the hell out of me and the constant irritating way, they talk about absolutely nothing! "Grab the other end Gaara! Fuck, where did you go this time?" I just roll my eyes, because my siblings always know when I'm zoning out. Temari chuckles as we drop the mattress on top of the box spring. I'm still trying to decide how I was stuck helping finish Dad's bed. Speaking of father, he is out of town and will be gone for the rest of the month. He was apparently invited to New York for his expertise in the latest viruses. I'm just thankful he is gone, that keeps me from feeling like a complete failure.

"Temari, there is some dude at the door!" Temari squeals as she exits the room, did I mention that I am gay? Yeah, I decided that girls were ridiculous and completely irrational. Although, they are beautiful and some are quite appealing, their personalities irk me to the point where I just can't stand it. Males on the other hand, can hold the same beauty and grace, with half the emotion. It is actually quite appealing once you think about it. My new bedroom is in the attic, I decided that I should stick to the dark places. No need to change a winning formula, I have my own bathroom, so whoa!

I chuckle in his head as I head back to my room. The attic is not that bad, it has two windows and room to stand. The area is large and the floor is wood, I think it was used as an office and guess room. I push my mattress onto the black platform that Kankuro made for me. Did I mention that my siblings make this life tolerable? I probably would have ended this long ago, had it not been for those two. Those two make many things tolerable, even school. I know that is going to be a joy!

I am shorter than the average sixteen-year-old boy is, I am petite, and most mistake me for a prepubescent girl. A fucking girl, I would be angry, but that is a waste of time and I hate wasting time. I think most people just ignore me and to tell you the truth I ignore everyone. Except those who are unavoidable like father, teachers, cops, and my siblings (which are not that annoying). "Gaara, that is the internet guy and he is checking all the rooms to make sure there is a connection. Have you completely given up television or what?" I just opene my black armoire revealing the small television.

"Does that mean you have cable up here?" I just nod, and she heads back down to the main floor. Kankuro was the next up the stairs dropping off the school supplies and my books for my new school. "I should have made your ass come." I just look at him with my perfectly green orbs. "Here is a map of the school and you need to get your ID taking when we head to school tomorrow. Oh' and congratulations on the four AP classes."

Did I mention that I am smart, and that I take the AP classes are just to keep it interesting? What can I say I might as well stay busy and it even keeps Temari off my back... Sort of, she is always hovering over Kankuro and me. She works as a bartender at a place called The Clover; she keeps us each equipped with a cell phone. She is a sophomore in college and is eighteen, with a short fuse. As I said, all women should be diagnosed bipolar and schizophrenic. That is just not normal for a person to act that way. I love black, it is a soothing color. That is why I have black sheets, a black comforter, and black curtains, as I said before _'might as well stick to dark places.'_

Everything is up and now let's look at my new schedule and a map so I won't look like a complete ass, tomorrow. Okay so what do we have:

**First Period: AP Chemistry **

**Second Period: AP Trigonometry **

**Third Period: AP History **

**Fourth Period: AP British Literature **

**Fifth Period: Art **

**Sixth Period: Philosophy **

What the fuck is this? I have too ask people, "What the fuck is this?" Kankuro chuckled. "You have to ask Temari about it." Here she comes up the stairs. "Look, if you would have come, then you would have had a choice. It was either Art Appreciation or Philosophy, and I think you can use a little Socrates and all those other fucking thinkers." I roll my eyes, this shitty school place has been in session for almost three weeks, and she picks Philosophy!

"This school is on what they call a block schedule too, so you only have four of the classes tomorrow." I narrow my eyes because this shit is getting ridiculous. "That means you have first, third, fifth, and sixth on odd days. Then you have second and fourth on even days. Even days are Tuesday and Thursday and the odd days are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday." I just nod, because it is just another way for people to piss me right the fuck off! Really what can I do, I am only one person, people.

She just runs her hand through my fiery red hair. I used to flinch when she used to touch me. However, after much debate I decided that it's just her way of showing me affection. "Alright kiddo, just study the map and you should be fine. Kankuro is trying out for the football team, are you going to wait for him? Or do you want me to come pick you up?" I hate when she asks direct questions that I have no other choice but to answer. "I'll stay and observe." She just smiles as she heads back down the stairs. I get in the shower, because either way it goes tomorrow is going to be extremely exhausting.

I always beat the alarm clock awake, I have a mild form of insomnia, and it is actually quite sad. I pull my window open to my new room and then I pull a cigarette from the box in the nightstand. Yes, the cigs are kept in a box because it keeps me from explaining it to my nutty sister. God bless the medium Newport as I inhale the toxins, people claim it causes cancer. I have been smoking since I was twelve and I have never had cancer, I'm just saying.

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	2. Chapter 2:The Beginning of what happened

I don't own these people

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Chapter 2: The Beginning of what happened

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The clock reads six a.m., what can I say...I'm not much of a sleeper and it suits me. I finish my cigarette and throw the butt out the window. I go to the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, and apply my eyeliner. It keeps the circles around my eyes less noticeable. I used to be a cutter too, but after a year, the habit was much more difficult than I thought. So, I just started smoking again, it was easier to maintain. I guess that nagging little fact that none of us is in control, really…Fucked up my reason for cutting even more and well, fuck it.

I come into my room and there is that evil messenger bag taunting me, I fucking hate school. No, let me rephrase that… I hate new school and why, you must be asking yourself? Will that is because I am certain, that some asshole bigger than me will try to stuff me into something, today. Life is strange that way. And then, I ask you again...what can I do? I pull on my black boxer briefs, my fitted black pants with the stirrups hanging in the back, my black tank, and my black Godsmack hoodie. Did I mention that I am not a big fan, but the hoodie is quite awesome?

I think that God person made all-black Converses for me as I pull those on too. I am still debating if that; God person is male or female. It's still up in the air, along with a couple of other issues. I take another look at that map of the shitty new school. I am pretty confident that I won't have to look up, more than four times today. I think it should be a sin to make me look up from my own feet.

"Gaara, it's eight-thirty! Move your ass, because I have to meet with the coach and you still need to get your ID made!" Kankuro is so obnoxious in the morning, and most of the time it holds some amusement. For some strange reason, not so much today, it is just pissing me right off. I come down the stairs with my usual glare and Kankuro just rolls his eyes.

My brother, Kankuro Sabaku is an athlete with average intelligence. I mean he's smart and funny, the girls seem to like him, and he is a typical jock (except for stomping anyone who looks at me wrong). Temari is the same way, strong, athletic, and smart. With her blond hair and perfect smile, hell everyone loves her. You know what both of them have in common though. My father loves them, and because I'm not athletic or ridiculous powerful, he detests me. Fuck it, I'm just along for the ride anyway.

We get into Kankuro's black Jeep that he got for his seventeenth birthday, last year. Kankuro's driving is insane. He has the patience of an Olympic hurdler. Whatever that means? We pull up to the new school and I feel sick, because this is going to hurt and I mean literally. "You have to go to the bookstore to get your ID made. Did you look at the map?" I just nod. "Okay Red, just text me if you need me and try not get jammed into anything. At least wait until I can scare some people." I just roll my eyes as I exit the Jeep. I pull my black beanie on and then my hoodie, the bookstore is to my right, so here we go.

The building is a little colder than expected, but okay. The chick behind the counter has pink hair. Pink hair, man her home life must be interesting, then again, she does have on a cheerleading uniform. "Hi, I am…" She sees my face and it throws her, my milky white skin looks as if I've never seen the sun. That is funny, but as I said before…I like the dark places. She smiles again and clears her throat. "Hello, I am Sakura and how can I help you."

I know she is thinking freak in her head because I can see it in her eyes. I just hand her the piece of paper requesting my school ID. She just nods and I follow her into this small room, where I stand in front of this purple screen. "Okay, say cheese!" Cheese, really? Do I look like the smiling type or has that pink hair done something to her brain? She pulls the ID out the machine and hands it to me, along with a plastic protector and an ID clip. "Welcome to Konoha High, and I hope your junior year is a wonderful year!"

That is a laugh, I wonder how much control it took, to even say that one nice sentence to me, fuck it. I just nod and pull back on my beanie, I head to my homeroom. The classrooms are set up interestingly enough, college lecture style. This may prove to be worth my wild for a change, my phone vibrates. It is a text from Kankuro:

**You haven't been in school for a good ten minutes and you have already managed to creep out someone. Red, you just have a knack for rumors, don't you? Whatever, just stay low and if anyone bothers you, TEXT ME!**

I told you that Sakura person was a faker, typical female reaction and here I thought I made a friend. Okay not really, I know this is going to be typical piss me off, high school. I predict at least one unprovoked altercation today. Everyone files in and all eyes on me, what can I say, I'm a showstopper and it's always interesting. Except for four boys, they just walk on by and sit down. And here I thought I was a special.

One of those, nonchalant boys has blond hair. He is very handsome and so is his friend, with the raven hair. One of them may be the one, who sticks into my smelly locker today, the prospects are endless at this point. The homeroom was short and Chemistry wasn't that bad. That Raven was in my first class, and he is quite gorgeous, once you take the time to look at him. With his pale colored skin and perfectly black eyes and his extremely well built frame. The boy is hot and goes by the name Sasuke Uchiha. He is a football player and he has the frame to match it. Apparently, smart as hell to, brains and beauty…what a combination, right? I'm just daydreaming again.

AP history brought back the handsome blonde. So, now I had the raven, the blonde, Neji and a new dude named Shino. All of them were quite the lookers. Thank God, most of my conversations occur in my head. I told you, I am the only companion I need. At any rate, I'm acknowledged once more and then the teacher moves on yet, again. I don't care, because the students still stare at me as if I were an alien (Minus the four boys mentioned).

Whoops, I'm staring and I'm caught by the raven, he just smiles and continues his notes. Ladies and Gentlemen, that means he will probably be the one sticking me inside my locker after this class. My phone is vibrating, oh' wait my phone is vibrating, it is another text from Kankuro:

**Red, after this class is juniors and seniors lunch. Meet me at the lunchroom door and try to move at a pace that is acceptable in the human world.**

Kankuro is funny, and I hate to disappoint him. Nevertheless, I clearly did not follow his first text. Hopefully, his ass will realize I'm stuck in my locker before lunch ends. I'm truly sighing in my head and I can see the four whispering and pointing now. If you ask me, Kankuro's advice sucked ass, from Jump Street! Why you may be wondering? Well, because how in the hell am I supposed to be inconspicuous with a milky completion and bright red hair! Not to mention, I have a tendency to go in and out with the daydreaming, fuck it. I finish the little notes I did take and then the bell rings. I decided to just pack my things quickly and move out of the class. The closer I am to my locker, the better. Okay, there are four things you should know when you're being bullied.

**Number 1: It is a waste of time to try to talk them out it! You are not Ferris Bueller, so just say what you really want to say. Not some old stupid shit like, you don't have to do this man.**

**Number 2: Do not run! That will just gets your predators all excited and that is just no good, for you at ALL.**

**Number 3: Try not to tense because that only makes it worst, and don't make to much noise! Once again, we do not want them excited!**

**Number 4: Always have something interesting to do while stuck in your locker (Fuck, I forgot my cards).**

"Hey you…Red, wait up!" I can hear them moving to try to stop me, all right I am clearly about to break rule number one. Fuck it! I'm just going to give it a shot. "Look if you are going to kick my ass and stuff me in a locker, can we reschedule for tomorrow? I kind of have to be somewhere today or maybe wait until after school?" I shrug as their eyes look at me in curiosity. "I'm not busy after school, after school is good for me."

The four football players stare at me in confusion, I am sure that I spoke clearly and I was articulate. The raven cracks a smile. "I'm sorry, but why would we stick you in a locker or kick your ass for that matter?" Okay this is becoming a little confusing and that is a rarity for me. "Well, I am half your size and I'm what people qualify as abnormal or freaky looking." The blonde shrugs and a big grin spreads across his face. "What is so great about being normal, anyway? The raven nods. "As far as any of us is concerned, normal is just a useless word anyway."

That Neji person and Shino guy, just nod their heads in agreement. "I am Naruto, the raven is Sasuke, the lavender-eyed guy is Neji, and Shades over there is Shino." Each boy just nods as his name is called, and did I mention that I'm confused as hell, at this point. "You can meet Kiba, Lee, Choji, and Shikamaru, once we make it to lunch." This is just weird and not cool twilight zone weird, but high as a kite weird. Which reminds me, I miss those days of being incredible high? Until that nutty sister of mine took away that joy, but she will not get my precious medium Newport's, I smile in my head as I am walking along with the football four.

Damn daydreaming, I really need to learn to focus better. "Red, I see you made it safely and no locker stuffing, so congratulations!" I should have known that Kankuro would have something to do with this, man I must be getting soft. I just nod and he just chuckles at me. "These guys are juniors like you and they are also varsity team players." Kankuro looked at his phone. "Well, I can finally feel comfortable." I raise my eyebrow and he just chuckles again. "I am absolutely confident that you won't be shoved into small spaces anymore." I sigh in my head because I know I am going to have to respond, though not in a way that he expects.

"I am perfectly capable of texting you after I get shoved into a locker. Do I really need this many babysitters, though?" Kankuro starts to frown as he shakes his head at me. "It is still earlier and besides I never disappoint."

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	3. Chapter 3:Babysitters

I do not own Naruto

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Chapter 3: My babysitters

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Kankuro tries to grab me but I always manage to evade his grasp (Lots of practice, people). I get into the line and the selection isn't half-bad, I get a fruit salad thingy and head out the door. In front of me is a quad with plenty of stone tables and I can see my babysitters at one and my brother with some other football players at another. Their waving at me to join them, let's just say…I know that I am a burden to my brother. It is a sucky realization, but I would rather not be a burden on his new teammates too.

I look to my left and all I see is wide-open space, I walk up the small hill and there is a line of trees, with one giant one that catches my eye. I walk over to it and sit down. This is my official stop, just far enough away from the world. I pull out my notebook and I sketch the raven's eyes and face, while I pop a piece of honeydew in my mouth. It taste good and it's fresh fruit, not canned. I smile in my head, what a delight and for school lunch, no less.

I write a few lines that were lingering in the back of my head and put down some music notes that sound like a hummingbird. I told you that my brain is a peculiar place; I shrug as I close my eyes. The sun is warm on my face and I cannot remember the last time I just enjoyed being…here. I knew that I wouldn't be able to enjoy this forever. There is something or more like someone, blocking my warmth. I open my eyes to find two pairs of eyes staring back at me. The pairs are distinctly different, one pair as blue as the sky, while the other is as black as midnight.

"You didn't really think that it would be that easy, now did you?" The blonde speaks while the raven just lifts his eyebrow in curiosity. I just shrug, because I honestly did assume it would be that easy. I close my notebook and glare at my babysitters. The blonde flinched, but the raven was unconcerned. "Do you two really want to spend your year babysitting me?" The two just take a seat. "If you would stop being so troublesome maybe it wouldn't have to be just babysitting duty."

A guy with hair that looks like a pineapple is talking to me and I glare at him, he smirks as if reading my mind. I am Shikamaru Nara and it is nice to meet you, Red." Okay, so my new babysitter is clever and has a lazy look about him. And in addition to him, I get three more babysitters to add to the four I already have, goodie! Not really, but what can I do about it…I mean really? "Bushy brow over there is Lee, the eater is Chouji, and the dog boy is Kiba."

I would beg, but that is one of those emotions on the list that I just do not express. "I am not an athlete and I spend most of my time in my own head. I am not good company and I have a tendency to let my mind wander. I am not big on interaction, so this may be the most mind-numbing task you have ever performed" All of them just laugh. I didn't tell a joke and the more I think about I have never told a joke in my life. "You are way too serious for high school." I just shrug because I know Neji is right, I am too serious for this life…period.

"So, what is it like inside your head, Red?" It was almost a whisper, so I know it was only meant for me to hear. I look over to my right and it was the raven. His eyes never shifting as he raises his brow in curiosity, again. I caught myself leaning towards him. "I have everything in my head and I have been alone for many years now." Why am I talking to him, I am saying more to these people than I have said in almost seven years! "Well…Red, things are about to change very drastically for you." There was a roar of laughter and I look away from those hypnotizing eyes.

"Sakura is so full of it, that it is verging on pathetic!" Lee sighs. "Maybe the beautiful Sakura just saw things differently than the rest of us, Kiba" Sasuke rolls his eyes. "You only say that because you have been in love with her since the sixth grade." Lee is blushing and I can't help but wonder why he would even like such a fake person. Sasuke sighs. "What did the pink haired girl say now?" Naruto leans back on his elbows and grins up at Sasuke. "Well, apparently little Miss Prissy says that Red over here was, like a person devoid of a soul. He is supposedly menacing and sent chills straight to her bones."

Everyone started laughing again and to tell the truth I have never been menacing a day in my life. She must have been over stating me for attention from others. "Red can you believe the nonsense she is spouting or are you used to silly rumors?" That is a really decent question and I have no other choice but to answer. "I find that people who crave attention are bound to say or do anything. Rumors are often lost on me. I find them both meaningless and obtuse." Neji just nods in agreement. "My first impression of her made me decide she was saying on thing and thinking another."

I feel that raven smirking at me and I like it, because I knew it was for me. "Yeah, that is Sakura right down to the thought process." I kind figured she was a vindictive little bitch. I find that most cheerleaders are. "Not all the chicks in our group are like her though." Naruto nodded in agreement with Kiba's words. "Yeah, Tenten and Hinata are pretty cool and Ino has her moments." There is more to this little group and does that mean I have more babysitters? Fucking come on already, geez. "Does that mean I have more chaperons or are they just lookouts?"

They laugh at me again. I swear comedy is really not, what I was after. "No, they are going to be your friends, just like we are going to be your friends." These people do not listen; I am my own company people. "We need you to round out or group, and besides it's not good to spend so much time by yourself." Everyone nods in agreement. I don't really think Sasuke was asking a question. I think he was more like stating their intentions for harassing me. This is going to be an interesting year and honestly, I have no idea what has happened. The bell rings signaling the end of lunch and I am even more confused than before this day even started.

I head to Art with Neji, Lee, and Naruto in tow. The bell rings and the students are staring at me. To be perfectly honest I am over the staring, and I guess Naruto was to. "What the fuck are you staring at? The front of the class is that way!" Lee chuckles quietly at my side and I am directed to a seat between, Neji and Naruto. I guess this won't be as bad as I thought it would be and that is a new one for me.

The teacher comes in and introduces the assignment and it was pretty simply. Everyone finished it with in the first thirty minutes, which left twenty minutes of free time. I pull my notebook out and continue my previous project. I have seen more of the raven's face and it is beautiful, I finished up his face and worked on the musical notes, when my phones vibrate. Another text from Kankuro, no less:

**Red, this is our last class of the day! Now that is awesome, there is a pep rally today. I heard that everything went well with the footballers, if you ask me you will be a perfect addition. See you at the rally, go Konoha Cougars!**

Kankuro is going to have an awesome senior year, thank the heavens. His constant hovering will be at a minimum, if I play nice with the others. Fuck it. I just have to do this for one year and then I can go back to being alone. The things we do for the ones who love us, ha…I am freaking funny. "Hey Red we have to leave class early to get ready for the pep rally and you get to come with us." I just nod. I think this blonde person is enjoying this a little too much. Neji leads me to the door, and I have to fight the urge to take off running (I don't think I will get that far anyway).

Sasuke presses into my side and I can't help but look up into those perfect black orbs. What is wrong with me, I cannot be interested in one of these footballers! They are off limits Gaara Sabaku and besides he is your brother's teammate! "I see that you haven't tried to escape, but one can only assume that you know it would be a waste of energy." Okay its official they are enjoying this a little too much.

"I am completely aware of the battles, I can and cannot win." The raven nods and I can't help but want to watch his every move, fuck it! "See, that is exactly why I like you Red, because every time you speak there is a reason for it." Is he flirting with me? Hey, people I think the raven is flirting with me. No, no…I am just over thinking things again. It would be somewhat nice though, he is popular and athletic…okay so I think he is attractive, so what! You would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to see how sexy he is. And then he has that detached attitude that just draws you in to him, he already has a girlfriend though I just know it.

I refuse to let this boy take over anymore of me. I will not talk to these people anymore! Sasuke presses into me to pull me from my thoughts again. "You are hopeless Red, and you can sit right there." Damn daydreaming, I really do need to learn to focus better. The bench is empty and I can see the pink haired faker with some other cheerleaders, I think cheerleaders are evil. I am not sure why, but they have this way about them that makes me think they are evil.

"Hey kiddo, I see you have made it completely through the day unharmed!" Kankuro is special but it was just never diagnosed. I just nod because I have used too much energy today. "Man, this is going to be a good year, I can feel it! It has been such a long time since I felt this confident and dude you are going to be fine." Is he serious, because this is just strange? I mean I am glad that he is happy for a change, but I am dealing with some serious issues over here! I think I have a crush on someone I should not have a crush on, the pink haired girl hates me (not caring so much about that), and I am talking more than ever!

There is something wrong with all of this, I have no clue how to stop or control any of this, fuck it! "I am just glad that you are going to be okay, I mean I know that being bullied never bothered you." Kankuro sighs. "But it sure did bother me, I hated not being able to protect you all the time. I guess it's because I am the big brother and I guess that is how I am supposed to feel." This is not share your feelings day and I always knew it bothered him…what was I supposed to say though? Sorry that I am the average size of a thirteen-year-old chick and people like to harass me.

Umm yeah….not really my style, I guess I could say something though. "I know Kankuro, but you never had to worry. At the end of the day I was always fine." He just nods his head and there is screaming and howling coming for every direction. There is blue and white everywhere, talk about school spirit! The entire school is into this ridiculous crap, even the emo posers.

Umm yeah….not really my style, I guess I could say something though. "I know Kankuro, but you never had to worry. At the end of the day I was always fine." He just nods his head and there is screaming and howling coming for every direction. There is blue and white everywhere, talk about school spirit! The entire school is into this ridiculous crap, even the emo posers.

This is so stupid and with that I take my leave, there is no way in hell I am staying in here for this bullshit. We are free! At least for the time being, I walk over to my spot and I take a seat. This is a nice tree, people. I pull out my ear buds and press play on my iPod. Who are we listening to you ask? That is easy Coheed and Cambria, it you haven't heard them…, then you are musically retarded. Yes, I said it and I am not feeling any sympathy for it. Like I said in the beginning, music is my life and I think I forgot to mention, that I play the cello. Yes the cello, it is soothing, but I can also write actual music. I am really not good at writing lyrics, but I do write down anything that comes to mind. I honestly lack follow thru when it comes to lyric writing, I swear that is part of problem but, whatever.

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	4. Chapter 4: Awareness Sucks

I do not own this people.

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Chapter 4: Awareness Sucks

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_It smells like teen spirit_ is blaring in my ears and I feel my pulse quickening with every rift of the guitar and pound of the drums. Nirvana is poetry and you can quote me on that one. To bad Cobain had to say goodbye to this place, I'm not sure he had the right idea. But, I can commend him for doing something amazing before he left. Before I leave, I wonder if I will do something commendable? Praiseworthy, hell I will settle for a warm feeling when someone mentions my name. Knowing me and what I am, probably not. It's not that I am this horrible person or anything. It's just that, I always seem to get lost in the shuffle of things and that is fine with me. I guess I know that my place in this world is insignificant, fuck it! Realization sucks, no awareness sucks…I am just waiting for my sentence here to end already!

"Kankuro has been looking for you for hours." I open my eyes and it is dark, but I know that perfect silhouette even in the darkness. It belongs to Sasuke Uchiha, talk about knowing how to pick a crush. "Do you know what time it is Red?" I shake my head, because time is an illusion, anyway. "It is eight at night, and you are here under your tree, sleeping like a baby." Was I asleep or did I just forget where I was again? He is kneeling in front of me and his breath smells of vanilla. I think vanilla is my favorite, now. "I almost forgot what I was supposed to be doing." He tilts his head to the side as if seeing me for the first time. "Sometimes, it is like you are not really from earth. Almost like you are just visiting this planet to show the rest of us what we are missing."

That was sweet and I cannot help but want to get closer to him, but I won't and I can't. "Come on, Red let's get you something to eat before I take you home." I just stand and pull my ear buds from my ears. I check my phone as we walk to the car, eighteen missed calls and twelve texts. The car is warm and really nice, more like expensive. I should have known the golden boy was loaded, all the texts say the same thing though. Am I okay and where are you, because Temari is going to kill him. I send Kankuro a text.

**Cutter, stop freaking out and don't call Temari. I am fine, I'll be home soon, and what did I say about worrying?**

**(Thinking of Something interesting)**

The rule is to wait until ten to call Temari. She has the worst mother hen complex. She goes all insane and eye twitchee. That's my nutty sister for you, but I wouldn't exchange her for anything in the world. My phone starts to vibrate.

**Dude I had a heart attack in my ass! I didn't call Crazy, because the rule is wait until ten. I was just freaking out and I was worried. Whatever, just be here before Crazy makes it home.**

"You are something else, Red. Where did your travels take you this time?" This raven asks the right questions and I am forced to answer. "I love music and when I am not careful I have a tendency to forget where I am." He nods as he pulls up to the curb. "Come on Red, let's get something to eat." I exit the car and the restaurant he chose has a closed sign up, but he walks in anyway. He holds the door open for me. "Itachi I am here, sorry about my tardiness." There is a table with people around it, and there are a couple of empty spaces. "Where the hell have you been, you said an hour at the most." That Itachi guy looks like an older version of Sasuke, except he has a long ponytail. "Hey Red, Dad this is the guy I was telling you about." That Dad guy with the scar on his nose looks familiar, wait a minute. That guy is my teacher; I knew that these people were strange.

"Yes Naruto, Gaara is in my class." I nod because this is just odd. "Have a seat and there is plenty to eat." It is Itachi, he seems to be a nice guy and yet extremely formal. A little, detached like his Sasuke, actually a lot like Sasuke, right? I take a seat next to another guy who looks familiar, he has silver hair, and one eye is covered. This dude is one of my teacher's too, and I think I was less confused under my tree. Sasuke presses into my side to get my attention, I love it when he does that. "Red, you know Iruka and Kakashi, right?" I nod my head and both just smile. "This is my brother Itachi, and the red head is Sasori. That is Kisame, and that is Deidara over there stuffing his face." The blonde in the corner waved his hand.

This is getting interesting and I have no clue what I am getting myself into. There is talking around the table and Sasuke hands me a plate. It looks like a stuffed something and it smells so good. "It's called stuffed peppers, one of Sasori's special recipes. This is his restaurant, he closes earlier on Mondays. We have this huge dinner, and its okay." His smirk is legendary and I cannot help but crave this footballer, but it will never be more than a craving (I swear it). "This is our family; Kakashi and Iruka are Naruto's parents. They are really good parents and fun to be around. And Itachi is my guardian, brother, and only father I have ever known." The admission is plain and he doesn't show a hint of emotion.

God person, I cannot help but to be fond of his style. He smirks at me and I want to melt, I mean I really want to melt. This is all very enlightening and the food is pretty good to. I hear everyone talking and laughing, this isn't as bad as I would have imagined it to be. "So Gaara, how did you become friends with Sasuke and Naruto?" Naruto and Sasuke tilt their heads and it is really adorable, but I need to focus on Itachi's question. I am going to be honest and I think the night and day twins are looking a little nervous.

"I would say I am being stalked, but after a few hours. I can safely say that I meet them through my brother's nervousness and extreme paranoia." The adults laugh at me. I know and you know that I am quite serious. "That is an interesting truth, but why is your dear brother so worried?" This Itachi person is curious and he asks decent questions. "I am about the size of a fourteen-year-old, I am peculiar, and I am an easy target for bullies. My brother worries because I refuse to." Itachi and the other adults watch as if waiting for something and if it is emotion, they are wasting their time.

"So, was your brother worried about you shooting up the school or something?" Everyone hits the Kisame man, and he just shrugs. I am going to answer that question, because I want to. "I am not homicidal nor am I suicidal. I recognize that I am an easy target and I have no reason to be upset. It is just the way things are and I accepted that, a long time ago." Itachi smirks at me and it is a mirror image of Sasuke's. "Well aren't you an enlightened young man. I think you will be good for Naruto and Sasuke." That is strange most of the time I just creep out adults as well as other teens. "It is about time you add someone as interesting as Neji to the group, one can only imagine that he was getting lonely." Naruto grinned at his dad, Kakashi. "Yeah Red is pretty interesting." Dinner ended and I was invited back, I just nodded to show my appreciation. This was an odd night, with the strangest of happenings. We get into the car, he pulls away from the curb, and we are headed towards my home.

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I know this is short, but I achieved what I needed to, review if you want


	5. Chapter 5: Where the time went

I don't own Naruto, weep for me people!

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Chapter 5: Where the time went

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Hey people, it has been four months since that night. I haven't had a moment alone with Sasuke since that night. He still presses into my side and I can't help but to crave that weight on my side. Let's see, what have you missed? Kankuro was a starter on the football team and the guys from our old school almost pissed themselves when they say him in blue and white. The Cougars beat the Sand knights by 12 points, it was a crazy game. At least that was what I was told by Hinata, I spent my time reading Mansfield Park. The boys said that they wanted them to know that bullying people was wrong and so they made extra sure to hit them harder than usual, whatever either way I am stuck with these people.

The Cougars are now state champions and Kankuro was MVP. Our father and Temari was so excited for him, can you say athletic scholarship? Kankuro deserves it and it is about time his talents get to shine. October, brought Halloween and I was forced to wear hearts on my head by Hinata. We all went trick or treating and it really wasn't bad, but I will never tell anyone but myself that. Then Thanksgiving, brought dinner with Naruto and Sasuke's makeshift family, because father had to go out of town. We were invited and so we went and that wasn't bad either because it was the first time Thanksgiving didn't really suck.

I almost forgot that Temari was caught making out with Shikamaru and that was just shocking! It is cool though, because the two of them really like each other. Their biggest fight is he is to young for her, but eventually Shika makes her forget about the age thing. I almost forgot that Kankuro acts strange around Shino, I think they like each other. Neither will admit it though because Shino is dating some girl named Becky and Kankuro is dating some chick named Delia. It is still entertaining to watch the two of them sneak glances and touches, when they don't think anyone is watching.

That Sakura girl is still a faker, but she has a good heart. I think she loves Lee, because I always catch her staring at him. Ino and Chouji are just pathetic because they are just too afraid to tell everyone about their thing. Who else irks me? Yeah, Kiba is in love with Neji and Neji has a boyfriend named Haku. If you ask me Haku is beautiful, but is quite the slut. Haku is fucking a senior named Zabuza and I don't see how Neji doesn't know it? My favorite people to watch has to be Naruto and Hinata, by far! Those two really like each other and they are so sweet to one another, it's like watching a precious moments cartoon.

Sasuke is still my hopeless crush. He dates this red head named Karin (I told you he had someone). The two of them does this, on again and off again thing, she doesn't like me very much either. I know she hates because she says it all the time. I think it's because I can get Sasuke's attention and keep it, but it isn't like that, like that. I sure wish it were though, because everyday he makes me want to hurt myself. Back to what you have missed though, it is basketball season and everyone is playing, the usually suspects made varsity (no surprise there). Oh and Merry Christmas, the break is a nice change of pace, but my father is always out of town. Which has designated our house as the hangout and even when father is home he doesn't mind. I am still a disappointment him to, but some things will never change.

I am still playing the cello and I am speaking on a regular bases. Fuck it! It was unavoidable with so many interesting people around now. I do keep it to a minimum and it drives them crazy, but I think they know I still have to maintain some silence. I am doing well in my classes and I haven't ran away once since I have been here. I think I forgot to mention that, well yeah I used to runaway. When I got tried of being around. I used to runaway to this guy named Baki, he's a drug dealer and he has a thing for me. Baki would let me stay and I let him do what ever he wanted to me, he's into bondage. I have had my shoulder dislocated eight times fucking with him.

I can't deny that he is good to me, though. He has been texting me like crazy telling me he misses me, but I just haven't felt a need to abandon this groove. At any rate, Baki will always be there and eventually I will have a need to fulfill. I mean I'm not sexual retarded, but daydreaming seems to appease my needs for now. Who did I forget? Tenten, she is awesome and has a thing for bad boys, it is this guy named Sai at our school. He looked familiar, so I asked if he knew me and he said yeah. He is a carrier for Baki and we hung out at Baki's place a few times, and luckily, he has a thing for Tenten too. That is going to progress on its on and she is going to have a hell of ride, because that Sai kid is intense.

I think that is it so far, and right now, I am headed on the bus to Konoha park. It is located in the center of the city. I wanted to get some sketching and writing done. I finished my shopping two days ago, and I am doing web pages to keep a little cash in my pocket. Other than that, I think you are officially caught up on what has happen. The park is pretty much deserted this time of year, just how I like it. I follow along the river until I get to the large waterfall where a small bench sits adjacent to it. I always feel like I am on top of the world here in this place where sound is a beautiful symphony.

I sit Indian style; pull on my headphones and get out my notebook. I am almost at the end of it now, this will be my ninth notebook completed over the years. Andy McKee, Drifting sweeps over my ears and captivates my mind; the man is a guitar genius. I write everything that my simple heart forget to remember and then I draw him again, just his eyes. I always pick one part that I love so well and draw it. The man is perfection on legs, a walking, breathing Adonis if you ask me. Sometimes you cannot help but want what you are not supposed to have.

I hear Bad Religion's I want to conquer the world slice through me like a knife. I write a few notes that were dangling in my head, I can see the song, and it's powerful. As if, I could produce anything else. I am not a chaotic person at all, but I seem to come to life when I can hear one thing and do another. The songs on my iPod are perfect for my mood and the atmosphere I have created for myself. I enjoy getting lost and I hate to be found, is that silly…I think not! People, I am crazy by definition of course, but so what. So is the rest of the world. I tell you what I discovered over these four months, that if I died tomorrow…I would miss this place. The people outside my head have made this place easy to deal with and I think things are better now that they have arrived. I am still a realist though and I have a dark aura by nature. Fuck it, what can you do?

I remember Sasuke whispering to me in the dark and it made my pulse quicken, and I wanted him to touch my body. Although, I think he just wanted me to listen to him, little does he know I always listen to him? I watch his mouth pronounce every single syllable, when he speaks…I wish I could be words so I can roll off his tongue. His tongue is pierced and I imagine everyday what it would feel like clicking against mine. I truly do crave that man and when I am lost, they send him to find me. A chill runs up my spine and I can't decide if it is the weather or the thought of the raven. What can I say I am a sucker for midnight and that boy is night. Those eyes and hair is the sky and his skin is the stars. To bad that, he and Karin are final and that sucks, because in my head he belongs to me and only me. My phone vibrates and I noticed that it is getting dark, damn how long have I been out here? Anyway it's a text from the raven.

Red, Where are you? You have been missing for five hours now, I am ready to find you, are you ready to be found yet?

*Curious but not really*

That man knows me so well and it hurts that he loves Karin, but what can you do? Fuck it, I am just along for the ride anyway.

I am at Konoha Park, raven and yes if you are seeking I am only happy to oblige. I will meet you at the south entrance in five.

(Thinking of something Interesting) 

I pull my headphones off and drop my stuff back into my bag, my Love is calling and I am only happy to come running. I linger at the waterfall until the sunsets completely and then I head to the south entrance. I see that slick black mustang waiting for me and I hear the door unlock, that is my favorite sound. I get into the warm car and that smirk draws up on his face. "I take it that your afternoon was enjoyable?" I nod and put on my seatbelt. "All is well with Karin, I hope?" He started to drive off. "I don't understand why, you are nice to her when she is anything, but nice to you." It is because she has your heart, I would never wish any harm on her.

"She is important to you and I refuse to be rude, just because she lacks common sense." Sasuke chuckled. "Yeah Karin is a little different and sometimes way to intense, but she is fine." That girl makes me want to choke her until she turns blue…sometimes. "Did you finishes you shopping, Red? I finished mine today and I got you something special." I want to show excitement, but I don't think I remember how to. "Are we talking special wonderful or special interesting?" His sexy smirk grew and I want to straddle him, but I restrain myself. "I would have to say a little bit of both and it is to big to fit in a box." Okay so I raise an eyebrow, the raven always makes me want to show interest.

We pull up to my house and walk in. Temari and the girls decided to cook Mexican tonight and it smells delicious. "Hey guys! Where did you find him?" Sasuke smiled at Temari. "Oh' I found him around like always." He winks at me and my phone vibrates and it is an actually call. "Yeah?" I hear Baki chuckle. "I found you, I'm outside, why don't you come say hi to me?" I look over at Sai and he is guilty as sin. I glare at him and he just cringes.

I know he didn't mean to tell and I haven't seen Baki in like six months, so whatever. "I will be right back." Everyone looks at me in curiosity. "Everything okay, Red?" I nod my head and just tell her, because either way, she is going to be pissed. "It's Baki, he's outside, and I am just going to go see what he wants." Temari and Kankuro both turn red in the face. "Please don't do this! I thought you were okay, aren't you okay?" Kankuro spoke up, "Please don't go with him! I mean he is such a sleaze! He doesn't care about anything but himself! God, please don't leave, whatever is wrong we can talk about it!"

See how much those two overact, now they have everyone in here anxious, and there is no reason for it. I hold up my hand and Temari looks like she is about to cry. "I am not leaving, I swear it. He just hasn't seen me and he needs to see me. You guys know that I am fine, it is just how Baki is." I walk out the door and Sasuke looks blank faced, I am guessing he doesn't know what just happened. I can tell Temari is scared because she starts crying anyway. I head out the door and I see the 1951 Chevrolet Fleetline, that Baki love so well. I am not getting in the car because I wouldn't make it back for a week, so I walk to the driver side window.

I feel the eyes in the window on me, just fueling their imagination, because Temari has locked herself in the bathroom by now. I knock on the window and he puts it down. "What, you can't get in the car anymore? I only bite a little and if I recall you like, a lot." Baki and his words, no wonder I dig him. "I cannot go with you this time, Baki. I have obligations to attend to and where is one of you girls or other boys?" Baki licks his lips and it makes me want to taste him, but I don't move. "Why you have to be that way? You know you are the only one I dig like that. The only one who can live with me, if you want. I would take care of you and all you have to do ask, my Amor Vermelho."

Red love, that is what he calls me when he really wants me, it his version of begging. "Just wait until New Years, but I can only stay one night. Because I am trying not to cause to many waves." Baki chuckles. "Since when do you care about waves and who the fuck is all those people staring out here?" I don't want to look over my shoulder because if those black eyes are looking at me I will puke. "No one you know, it is not your scene. Baki, just go fuck Bailey and his twin Britney. Those two always want to share a bed with you and I know you like that shit." Baki was still looking at me with those brown eyes, I can tell he wants me. "Amor Vermelho, why do you have to make me wait and why do you have to make me beg. If you just be with me then there wouldn't be anyone else and you know it."

He is right, I know it and I love that I have that control, over such a powerful man. "Wait until New Years, Baki. I won't make any plans, but I am not staying more than two days." He smiles because all he needed me to do was to promise him more than one day. "Well, can I at least get a kiss before I go, Amor Vermelho." I lean in the car the smells of marijuana, and I can taste the herb on his lips. Baki always taste so good to me and he runs his hand through my hair and bites down on my bottom lip until it bleeds.

He is so rough sometimes, but he sucks it up before I myself has a chance to taste it. "Baki, I have to go back in there. Fucking chill out." He nods as he puts his tongue in my mouth and starts to suck on my lips. He then kisses me one last time on my lips. "I better see you New Years Eve or I will fucking come and get you, myself." I try to pull away, but he grabs my neck and sucks it. Did I mention Baki is territorial and I love it. "No Baki, I have to go." I pull away and I can hear him sighing in frustration. "I am hard as hell and I have to leave with it?" I nod my head as I walk away. And he yells at me. "What the fuck, Gaara! New Years Eve, don't make me come find that ass!"

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Reveiw it you want


	6. Chapter 6: The explanation

I do not own Naruto, the awesome Asian guy does.

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Chapter 6: The explanation **

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I just wave him off without looking back. I can hear him pull away from the curb. I stand at the door for a moment, because I am going to have to get Temari out of the bathroom. Fuck it! I open the door and I know from experience, that Temari is in the upstairs bathroom. I don't even look at the people I call friends. I just head straight up the stairs. Temari first and friends next, I knock on the door. "Go away, my brother is in danger, and I don't want to be bothered!" What the fuck is she talking about? I am safer with him than with anyone in this house (except for Sasuke). "Would you come out the bathroom? People are going to think something is wrong with you."

She opened the door and her face was all red. You could tell she had been crying really hard and she wrapped her arms around me. "I thought you had left with that pervert! I really hate him!" I manage to pry her off. I told you she always overreacts. "I said, I wasn't going with him. I don't understand why you do not trust me." She went back into the bathroom to wash her face and try to fix it. "I just don't understand his appeal. He is such a bad guy!" I roll my eyes, because we always have the same discussion.

"Baki is not that bad, and besides he would never hurt me." She sighed. "You know he sleeps around and everyone knows it. Are you okay with that?" Now that is a new one and I think I will answer her. "When we are together, it is just me and Baki. I have never been disrespected. His whole goal is to take care of me and make me happy, when we are together. Besides he is all talk and it holds no weight with me, because I'm not scared of him."

She pouted at me. "You should be, because that man is a dealer." I roll my eyes, because that is the bases of her whole argument and it is weak, if you ask me. "Baki is more like a warehouse. He distributes and takes in the cash. Technically, his hands are clean and he has never been busted, so I doubt if he ever will be busted." She is still pouting at me and that just cannot be helped. "Well?" I lift my eyebrow. "Well what, Temari?" She sighs. "Are you going to go with him soon?" I follow her back down the stairs. "Eventually, but I will only be gone for a couple of days."

Everyone is in the kitchen trying to calm down the irate Kankuro, and he looks like someone died or is about too. I walk in the kitchen and all eyes are on me, goodie. I can feel the questions, but no one will dare ask. I know that, he is going to say something stupid, and thank the heavens that we are amongst friends. "I fucking hate that creep! Why did you even go out there? I can't believe you even waste your time on that fucking loser! Temari looks at Kankuro, but he is to mad and the only way this will end is if I speak. Fuck it!

"Kankuro that is my decision and who I choose to hangout with is my business. You can think what you want to, but Baki has always been good to me." Kankuro towers over me, now and I can see the anger in his eyes. "But why that asshole, Baki is so bad for you and you are so much better than him. Baki isn't even worth your time or effort, don't you understand that kiddo." Kankuro is right about everything, but I used to like being lost and Baki made sure that no one bothered me. I didn't have to think or be seen when I was with him. All of that felt so good and I am just not ready to give it up, I think?

"I already know that Cutter, but I am not alone as long as Baki is trying..." I want to say as long as Baki is trying to loving me, but Baki's love comes with a price, that I am just not ready to pay. Kankuro knows he has lost the battle and it is written on his face, but then he smirks. "Well okay, just as long as you know it." I just nod my head. I think Kankuro was afraid of what would come after the word trying. Like I said before, Kankuro is intelligent and he knows when to stop himself.

Tenten decided that, that was enough teen angst for one night and felt that maybe it was time to eat. We ate and they talked as if nothing happened, but the raven was watching me. I could feel it. His stare always makes it damn near impossible to function, I feel his questioning look, and it's unnerving. Everyone was staying the night as usual, so I knew this was going to be an impossibly long night.

The boys were on kitchen duty, while the girls watched something pointless on television and those eyes still never left me. I'm telling you that I will puke, if he keeps it up. The stare feels like, I disappointed him in some way and I am just not ready to give up thinking, how special I am to him. I know that sounds lame, but I am not ready to fall from my pedal stool (I sure hope I earned one by now). I need his attention, but what if he thinks of me differently because he knows I'm gay for sure.

We have one guest room and a basement, the girls usual sleep together (two to a bed, perverts). While the boys sleep in the basement, we have two futons down there and three-blowup mattresses. My father likes having the boys over, it gives him a better opportunity to ignore me. Father is not here though, and he will not be back until February. Some stupid job thing…You already know that I was not really paying attention, so whatever. The girls have headed upstairs for the night and that leaves the boys in the basement watching sports highlights (boring if you ask me).

I am really trying hard to concentrate on Jane Austen's _Sense and Sensibility_, but that damn raven is burning holes into me and I feel sick. I close my book and I head towards the stairs. "Night, Red!" Everyone in the room says in unison. I know that tomorrow all hell is going to break loose and every question will be asked. The question remains, if I am going to answer them. I shrug; I guess it depends on what kind of mood I am in tomorrow. I think I am going to go hide in the tub for a few hours, because everything else feels impossible right now.

The water is hot and my skin turns red as soon as I am submerged. All I leave is my eyes and nose above water, it is quiet enough so that I can hear the water hitting against my eardrums. The sound is relaxing, but I can still feel those fucking eyes! What is his problem, anyway? I don't want to say I'm sorry, because I'm not sorry for being me. I just want him to stop staring at me, like that.

I know that I have been in here for a while because my hands are pruny and the water is lukewarm, now. I watch the water go down the drain and I am really trying not to think about those gotdamn eyes. He truly is the night. His eyes and hair are the night while his skin is the stars, ugh! This so stupid and why do I care about what he is thinking, anyway? I dry off and pull on my black pajama pants...that is stupid because all my pajama pants are black. People, I just need to push through! Life is so much more complicated, since I was forced to interact with others.

I pull my towel over my head before I come out of the bathroom, and I hear him whisper. "Trying to love you, right? That damn raven whispering in the dark again, I can feel myself getting hard. "You wanted to say, trying to love you, right?" I cannot find my voice right away and I can see him sitting on my bed. He is the night and I am the moon. Whatever people, I dig this man and so do you. "You know Red you are always full of surprises. The real question is, if you want to be love?" He strolls over to me and I want him, but I stay where I am.

I feel his breath on my eyelids and it still smells of vanilla, I crave this man. "Baki's love has always comes with a price and it is too great of a price, even for me." Why I am whispering to the night? He is leaning over me, I want this…, but I cannot have this. "I didn't ask you that, Red. I asked you if you want to be loved, not what is cost to love him." Every nerve in my body is like a livewire and I feel like I am on fire.

His breath is lingering on my neck, now and it is really hard to focus with him this close. My dick in pulsing with every breath he takes. "Red, this is not the time to get lost. I want an answer…I have to know." Is he serious? Does he know what this type of proximity is doing to me? Focus Gaara, just answer truthfully as possible. "I am not sure if I want to be loved or even if I am worth loving. I exist and I am here, right now." That sounded stupid and why do I always tell him exactly what I'm thinking?

"That is a shame, because you are the moon and I am the night." He chuckles that sexy chuckle. "Hn, You let me know when you want to be loved or when you decide you are worth it…alright Red." His lips just barely brush my jaw line and across my lips, I really want to taste him. I get on the tips of my toes and I try to press my lips to his, but he pulls away. "I said let me know when you want to be loved." This is sucking so bad, all I want is one fucking kiss! Please I promise to be good, God! He presses his lips to my ear and whispers. "Tell me everything about Baki and you." My eyes roll into the back of my head and I just ejaculated in my pants, that is just wrong people! I am going to answer him though, because the way he asked…earned him everything!

"I meet Baki when I was thirteen. He stopped some of his lackeys from kicking my ass. At first, he thought I was a girl, but then he realized I was a boy. He told me I was the prettiest boy he had every seen in his life and that I was destiny to be his. He said the kanji on my forehead was beautiful to, then he kissed it, and I loved the feeling." (People, now you know I am strange. I convinced a tattoo artist to put a love kanji in red on the left side of my forehead).

"That night I let him take my virginity and he was twenty-one then. He took really good care of me that night. He was always really attentive, but silent. That was when Baki became my quiet and my calm. I could shriek away whenever I was with him and that was okay." Shut up Gaara! But we know better than that, because he said everything. And that is what I am going to give him. "Baki is what you call an entrepreneur of the streets and he is good at it too. He is into some interesting types of things and my shoulder has been dislocated eight times because of his interests. I'm not saying it is bad, but it would be nice if he could be a little gentler." I am panting as if I have been running, what is wrong with me?

"We have had only one fight in our four years together and it was about the twins, Britney and Bailey. Those are two of Baki's little playmates and for a moment, those two forgot that, that was their only purpose. That is just how he is, he wants it, and when he is done with it, he just walks away." I lick my lips hoping to taste a hint of vanilla. "He begs me all the time to come live with him, but I refuse to give him everything. I know if I do, I will forget who I am and what I am supposed to be doing."

I furrow my brow. "I'm not sure it I want to claim a place in this world, because I'm still not sure if I want to be here and Baki is okay with that too." That is it, that's everything that comes to mind when I think of Baki and me.

The raven is intense, completely focused on me, and I love it. "He was your quiet and calm?" I shudder under that scent of vanilla, but I manage to nod my head. "I am your quiet and your calm. Now what are you doing here, Red?" He touches my tattoo and I melt at the feel of his warm touch. "I am just here to observe and trying not to be too much of a burden." Both of which is getting difficult to do, because this night is making me want more. "Not sure if you want to be here?" His lips lightly brush over my tattoo of love and I press by forehead to his lips, those lips feel like pink rose petals (Yup, those bitches even have a color).

"Not everyone was built for this world and I need to make sure my siblings will be fine." I talk as if it is ascending and I guess it is? But…right now at this moment, I don't want to leave. The more I think about, I never really wanted to go, I just thought it would be easier for everyone else involved.

"What a naive concept for such a clever red-head." He is mocking me, but those lips are still on my kanji. So I could care less, much less about my view for the last seven years. "Red, I don't believe you ever really wanted to go." He sighs. "Besides, you might want to get comfortable because you won't be leaving that easily." I can feel those perfect lips curve into a smirk. "You still have so much to give me, and I am still waiting to receive the first thing." He presses his soft lips to my neck and I stop breathing. "Who are you?" I can feel his sweet breath on my neck and I want more.

"I am a writer, I am an artist, I am conductor, I am a sexual being, I am a brother, I am a bad son, I am nothing, I am everything, I am forgotten, and most importantly I am music." He steps away and leaves me there, still standing in the doorway of my bathroom. His precious kiss still lingering on my neck and I really wanted more.

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**Review if you want**


	7. Chapter 7: I guess you are

I do not own this most awesome Naruto!

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Chapter 7: I guess you are**

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Every time I think of that night, I cannot help but feel jaded. I think about everything that was said and after he left me to my thoughts…I was lost. It used to feel like I was in a waiting room, and that my number would be called any moment…but here lately. I have felt content and dare I say fulfilled? I think I want to give that raven what he wants, but I don't even know how to. I have been in my own head for so long that I am not sure exactly where to start. This is so gay! I mean why do I want to do that anyway and I am not sure how to…

Yeah that is lie and I think you were going to let me tell it to! Shame on you people, you are supposed to be sharper than that! Let's be honest I am afraid of wanting to be apart of this life and afraid of emotional expression. That behavior caused me more pain, when I was younger…than actually acknowledging an emotion and then, moving on to something more productive. We can allow fear in my head ALL day, but we know that, that is as far as it's going to travel. Whatever, I guess you are wondering when we are? That is simply, it is New Years Eve morning and I am packing my shit to head to Baki. Yes people, I am still going. I would hate for Baki to come to Konoha and act like a first class ass, plus lets face it…I have needs!

I guess you are wondering what happened that following morning or Christmas day for that matter. I bet you are like what happened with Sasuke? One question at a time, I think I will start with the morning question. For one, my sexuality was a hot topic, then everyone decided Baki is a pedophile, and that he is not worth my time. Keep in mind I already knew two of those things, pedophile…not so much. Naruto said, screw it! Because I was still one of his all time favorites and the raven just smirked.

Sasuke didn't say two words that entire day! He just looked at me with one arched eyebrow and he is still with Karin. I am very special to him and Karin hates it. I like how everyone knows I am special to him and how he doesn't care that they do know. That cunt Karin hates me with a passion. What can I say, I have a knack for pissing her right off, and I love it. Well, I guess that leads us to the Sasuke thing. Sasuke Uchiha is a clever little fuck. He still presses into my side and it drives me nuts, and he is always whispering. _'Let me know.'_ He is a one man wrecking crew, always wreaking serious havoc with my thoughts! I used to be so sure that I did not belong here and now all I want to do is stay.

That clever fuck, even got poor Itachi in on it to, he said to me one night. _'It wouldn't be a bad thing if you let Sasu love you.'_ I almost dropped the plate! He said, _'Everyone needs someone. As you can see we have a thing for red-heads.'_ He was looking at his lover of ten years Sasori, and then at that awful Karin. Itachi doesn't like that girl, one bit. Do I blame him? No! Sasuke has even started spending more time around me and I love the way he can read me. I am still the hider and he is still the seeker. I don't mind when he ask if I am ready to be found, because I think that is one of the reasons I get lost now. Lame, I know but I will never tell anyone else that. This is getting a little to intense so let's talk about Christmas.

I have never had such an amazing thing happen to me, and I will tell you why. Sasuke and the gang came over and we exchanged gifts, then when it came time to give Sasuke his gift, he had none for me. He opened my gift; I drew him a portrait of him and his mother. Sasuke had complained once, that all he had was an old faded photo of her, he showed it to me, and she was beautiful. One night during one of our whispering sessions, he told me how she you used to take him to the ocean.

He would sit in her arms for hours and listen to her heartbeat. He said her fluttering heart always reminded him of a butterfly. Itachi let me see a couple of photos of Sasuke as a toddler, to make sure my portrait was accurate. I drew him his ocean, his sand, his beautiful mother, and him in his mother's arms. His eyes glazed over and he was speechless, but he kissed me on my lips. Honestly, I thought the kiss was gift enough, but everyone thought differently.

He just smirked. _'Do you really think, I wouldn't get Gaara something?'_ Everyone including me looked at him strangely. _'It is just too big for a box and I will show you why.'_ He dragged us out into the cold, and he covered my eyes. I was pulled into the car, and about fifteen minutes later the car stopped. It was cold and then it was warm again. I heard someone speak, that I didn't recognize. _'Is this him?'_ I could hear Sasuke reply, _'Yes, this is him and he is music.'_ He removed my blindfold to reveal one of the world's most famous cellists, Eleanor Aller-Saltkin.

I couldn't speak, or move for that matter. I love how she played and she was my whole reason for picking up the cello. She made me love classical music, and she was one of the reasons that, I .am music. _'I heard you play superbly, and I was wondering if you would play Moonlight Sonata with me?'_ What do you say to a legend? I just nodded my head, like an idiot. My cello was already there and I took a seat behind it, then I adjusted. We played several other songs, after Moonlight Sonata, and she praised my talents. Eleanor Aller-Saltkin, praised me!

I told her that she was the greatest and we talked about some more music. I explained to her why I loved music too and she said it was the same for her. Can you believe it, the same for her! She even told me my technique was flawless and she was sure I had a chance at Julliard. Eleanor even said she would be happy to write me a recommendation! I almost fell out the chair when she signed my cello, everyone laughed at me. Sasuke gave me the greatest gift of all and that was a chance to play with one of my idol's of music. I never thought anyone would ever give me anything as special as that moment, but the damn raven managed to.

That night I wanted to give him a smile and a tender kiss, but I didn't. My lack of expression stopped me from doing such things. I cannot remember exactly how I came to be this way. I mean, I know my mother died, and then my dad stop speaking to me. I think after that, he just forgot about me or maybe I just disappeared from his mind. Even though I know what happened, I am still questioning how it happened. I could be like the typical idiot and blame it all on myself, but it is in fact…both of our faults. I think in the end we both stopped trying, and I just stop showing how I felt about everything.

"You know you really shouldn't go! You should just come to the party with us and rock out!" Kankuro really doesn't want me to go to Baki. But, I won't have anyone to kiss at midnight, if I don't go (like I really care). Fuck it; it's time for me to leave my life for a while. "I sadly have to decline. I am promised somewhere else." I throw my bag over my shoulder and head down the stairs. "We don't want you to go and this is the first New Years, I haven't worked in ages! Do you really want to miss such a sight?" These two are hopeless and I want to smile, but I don't do it. Fuck it, can I even smile? I'm not sure, if I even remember how to do such a silly thing. I just shake my head and Temari smiles. "I have to go though, I have promised to be somewhere tonight." I feel those two pouting as I walk out the door, and I have ten minutes before the next bus runs.

All I hear is my feet on the pavement and my mind is moving a mile a minute, as I near my destination. I can't help but feel an overwhelming urge to see the night (Sasuke the raven). "Hey Red, get in. I'll take you where you want to go." That damn raven, always coming when my heart calls him, what can I do? "I'm headed to Sands and that is over an hour away." He is at my side and how did he get out of the car so fast? He is pressing into my side; this man is heaven on earth to me. "I will take you." I just nod my head, because there is no point in arguing with him. So, I follow him back to his car, and I noticed he had parked crooked, I guess he was in hurry? These leather seats are so familiar, now.

"Spending News Years in Sands? I take it Cutter and Mari tried to talk you out of it?" I just nod; I noticed a long time ago that he is always watching me. "I figured you would go anyway, because that is just how you are." Okay people, you and I both know that if he asked me to stay, that I would. On the other hand, we both know that Sasuke will never ask. "Just make sure you make it back home before school starts or those two will go nuts." I lift my brow. "I will only be gone a couple of days." He smirked, his famous smirk. "Hn, sure Red. Just try to make it back before the fifth." I hate that the Raven knows everything and I even hate that I am going to Baki.

I have to go. I haven't felt like me in a long time and I am hoping that this little trip will bring me back to who I was. I'm not saying that I was happy, but I was certain of myself and less confused. I never needed anyone's attention, not even Baki's and he has always been attentive to me. Now, it seems that I need those eyes on me, Naruto's ridiculous banter, and that urge to want something outside my own head is maddening! "Red, where did you wander off to now?" You see, that right there is why I need this…him, fuck it!

"I am trying to figure out when the feeling of need, came into existence for me?" I hate that I tell him everything, but what can I do people! "It happened, when I started to search for. Then it increased when I found you, imprisoned inside your own psyche." Who in the cheese and crackers is the poet here, him or fucking me? "You needed to be found and so, I found you. I found you because I needed to…because for the first time…in a very long time, I needed something."

Is he saying he needs me and if he is, why do I feel sick? Why do I feel like I want to curl up and disappear, it is fear? Fuck this! I am feeling way too much! I need a break from feeling like this. "Take it how you want, Red. At the end of the day, your need turns into me and I am okay with that…it is just your turn to be okay with that." I hate this and I love this…do I love him? Just let me get away, I need to get away, but I want to say this first. I mean I need to say these few things, before I forget again.

"I can't remember how I came to this place or why I decided to be the way I am." I swallow hard. "I just know that there was some defining moment, but I cannot remember when or what it was? I also know that you make me want to feel something other than empty and it's clawing up from somewhere that I cannot remember." Do I sound crazy or what? Am I losing it, why am I telling him this and why is listening to me so intently? "That is okay with me too, Red. I am in no hurry. I am just here to find you." I stepped out of the car at the red light, because all of this is too much and we're only a couple of blocks away from Baki's flat. That hour and fifteen minutes wasn't nearly long enough, but I have somewhere I have to be. "See ya later, Red." I just nod and head in the direction of Baki. I know he is waiting for me and I know what is waiting for me there…Silence.

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***Eleanor Aller-Saltkin is a real cellist, she was a classical Goddess, Everything see did was poetry! She and her husband started the Hollywood Quartet and she did the best movie soundtracks of the 70's and 80's. Sadly, she passed away in 1985 but she is still infamous and is still a rose in my garden of music.**

**Thanks goes out to Yessuka, Of heaven and hell, and Lithiumlilith. Those three are always making me laugh and had the best words of encouragement! For these three I would write forever! Let me know what you three think and everyone else can review if you want...**


	8. Chapter 8: Happy what, huh

I do not own Naruto, people!

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Chapter 8: Happy what, huh**

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That stupid Raven is always making me want more…it gets harder and harder to beat it back down. I know he is my seeker and for some strange reason, I know he always will be. I wonder if he loves me or if he would cry, if I left this world tonight. Ugh! What am I doing? The whole point of this is to leave him and the rest behind. I hate that he is waiting for something from me and I have know clue how to give it to him. I sort of want to give-in, but how much am I willing to stake on something so new to me? I am intelligent and I pride myself on being wise beyond my years. But, that raven always makes me want to forget everything and be who I was supposed be.

Who is that person anyway, I mean I never meet him and if I did…I certainly don't remember him much. I'll tell you what I do remember, I remember being scared for a long time and then…soon after that the feeling of nothingness. Well, I still felt a little admiration for my siblings. However, even that never shows on the surface anymore, I keep the same expressionless face and I don't let my emotions rule my body. Everything has been internalized since I was nine years old. At least I know when it happened. I guess the next questions are what and how. This is all taking to much of my energy and it is making my chest hurt. You see how he wreaks havoc on my thoughts, always giving me too much to think about! Never leading me by the hand, but always waiting for me to get there in my own time and in my own way.

Truthfully, Sasuke is an impatient sort of guy, but my slow pace has never once unnerved him. The more I think about his patience being limitless, when it comes to me…I really want to smile at that realization. But I don't know how. Fuck it! I hate that Baki's elevator is always fucking broken to and he wonders why I won't live with him. I hate these fucking stairs and he probably still has yet to put in an order to get the damn elevator fixed, Baki is completely useless. It is a waste of time to knock on the door because he is not here. I noticed that all the lights were off, before I walked in the building. That means I get the joy of rummaging through my bag to find my freaking key! I look around hoping that Baki will magically appear, but I doubt it. I squat and start looking through my bag, I need to have a better system for keeping up with this key. Ha, found it! The damn thing always manages to work its way down to the bottom of the bag.

I open the door and the stupid alarm is beeping. Thank the heavens the keypad is right next to the door, otherwise it would suck. I punch in 0-1-1-9, my birthday…maybe Baki is a pedophile or just obsessive, either way it has never bothered me. I wonder where he is? I shrug as I head to the bedroom up the stairs, he loves this flat and I hate it. It is always drafty and the water takes forever to get hot. I throw my things on the bed and my phone begins to vibrate, it has to be Baki. "Yeah?" Baki sighs. "I am trying to be patient, so when will you be coming this way?" I hate that he is so stupid. "Is there some reason why you want me there now?" Baki groans. "Look Komaza is running a huge New Years Eve rave and you know that we have to go. I was hoping that we would have some time before we have to go and besides I have some party favors."

I do not feel like being hemmed up in a bizarre position, but I am always for dropping some acid or popping a couple of Quaaludes. "Where are you now Baki?" His nervous laugh, tells me he is doing something stupid. "I am meeting with a couple of new potential carriers." Like I said something stupid and the day before New Years, no less. "Don't forget to ask if they are cops, because it is entrapment if they try to bust you. As for me coming early, I made it to your place about twenty minutes ago. Bring me some ******Ma Yi Shang Shu**, and tell them to put the rice in a separate container." Baki scoffed. "Yeah Amor Vermelho, like I don't know that by now!" He hung up the phone and I pull my stuff out of my bag, I kind of figured Komaza was doing something tonight.

Komaza and Baki used to be carriers for this dude named Nidaime. Those two never did anything without the other and that is why they managed to take over four large counties and are making money, hand over fist. At any rate, they are known as the brothers Nidaime, Nidaime retired and left his little business to Baki and Komaza. He was honored to let them take his name, because both were just orphans when he took them in. I guess you can say he raised them. However, both of them are still completely useless and I guess that couldn't be helped either. I notice that Baki has changed the flat a little. There is a new billiard table, it is black on black, I am guessing it cost a pretty penny.

Then there is a huge flat screen hanging on the wall above the fireplace. I take note of the feel of the new all black sectional that is facing the new television, finally something that breathes! I hated when he had that black leather sectional, because he always wanted to fuck me on it and the leather made it so uncomfortable (Not like, it isn't already). All the living room tables are still black, so is the dining room table and the entire kitchen is too. Baki likes dark places like me. Everything in this flat is black, right down to his bathrooms. I told him I wanted a big tub and he got me one and it is all black. He bitched about how much it cost and I told stupid, that all I said was I wanted a big tub.

After that, I didn't hear shit else, about it. His bed is King size. The problem with that is, he always crowds my space, so I have yet to benefit from such a large bed! I sit down in my area, yes, I have an area and it is all mines! I have two bookshelves full of books with a reading lamp and a black chair in half with red pillows. It is right next to the floor to ceiling windows. I have a red throw that is laid neatly over the back of my chair in a half. I sit here for hours and Baki doesn't say anything, usually because he is busy in his office or he has other company. Either way, it is silent in my area and he never let's anyone bother me and I love that he does that for me. I hear the lock click and my name or my nickname, "Amor Vermelho." Whatever comes next, I know the shit is going to be unpleasant and undesirable, on my side anyway.

I am thrown on to the bed with quite a bit of force and then tied up with black nylon ropes. The ropes are cutting off the circulation to my limbs and I am blindfolded with a leather strap. The ropes are a little tighter than usual. He says it's punishment for not coming home for the past six months. Home? That is a funny concept, because I always thought my home was wherever Cutter and Mari was. It seems that, that isn't the case here. My arms are forced up into the chain above the bed and it is raised which, leaves me slightly suspended above the bed. I can officially say that this is painful and if he fucks me with to much force, I know my arm is going to dislocate. Did I mention that the dummy tied my arms in the back and that is why this is excruciating!

"I bet your ass won't make me wait six fucking months every again! Will you my Amor Vermelho?" You asshole this hurts, but I just nod my head. He pulls the rope around my torso tighter and I flinch. I can feel the rope burns and the bruises forming everywhere on my milky skin. "Yeah that is what I want to see, I want to see you wince and tremble." I told you, he was strange and I was hard, but not so much now. I take a deep breath when he slides his finger into my entrance and reaches around the front. "I need you be hard for me to enjoy this Amor Vermelho." He starts to move his hand in time with his finger; it wasn't enough distraction if you ask me. I became hard by the time the fourth finger entered me. "That is my good little Amor Vermelho; now we need you to stay that way."

He is so primitive, because he places a rubber band around my penis. That hurts to, but the four fingers are hitting my sweet spot so, that is good. That is turning a frown upside down, people. His fingers are still pushing into me and is causing a coil of heat in the pit of my stomach. I was to close and he knew it, so he tightened the ropes on my entire body. I winced and trembled, the pain was making me sick. "I love how you always give me what I need, Crimson." Funny because that feeling is not fucking mutual at this very moment and it is getting hard to breathe! "I cannot wait any longer, I have waited long enough!"

I can hear the urgency in his voice and it's alarming, so I know this is going to be painful. He slams into me and puts his weight on my arms. My body is telling me to scream…but my brains refuses. He is pushing so hard and every time he slams into me, it feels like I am being ripped apart. I am trembling and flinching, "Oh' fuck Gaara…You give me what I need, please give me more!" He pulls down on my body and my arm dislocates with a sickening click. That just made him get a little rougher and I think that at least three of my ribs are cracked. "Aw! I am fucking cumming baby….Aw!" That is funny because I am not and all I want you to do is finish, please! With on last thrust he comes inside and pulls out. He slowly lowers me to the bed from the chain.

He starts with the rope around my legs, then the one around my torso, and finally my arms. He rolls me over to my back and I nod to him. With that, he pushes my arm back into place and I whimper a little. I try not to move while my body tries to adjust to the new injuries. He licks the blood and cum form my thigh, then runs his fingers over the bruises and rope burns. He takes my length into his mouth and starts to suck. Without my permission, my hips start to move and this always causes Baki to hum. I love the vibrating motion and it makes me move a little faster. Which is bad because I am aggravating my injuries. Fuck it, this is just too good and I have to move faster into that hot moist heat. I can feel that coil again and then it snaps…sending me hurling into the darkness.

I can feel the heat of water and smell the scent of my lavender bath oil that I love so well. I can feel his hands gentle washing my body, and I slowly open my eyes. "Hey sleepy head, how do you feel?" I glare at him. "That bad, huh?" I just roll my eyes. "What do you need baby?" I lick my lips and I speak in a whisper. "Ludes and vodka straight up." Baki smiles and dries his hand on the towel behind my head. He hands me the pills and the vodka. I pop the pills and chase them with the white liquor. I sigh because this is not where I want to be tonight, this is no longer a place I need. Baki runs and little more water and then leaves me to prepare for this evenings event.

I am thankful he left the bottle of vodka on my little table. I pour another drink, I look down at the bruises and burns, I can't help but think, that it has to be more to love making than this? I can feel my injured ribs, but in another twenty minutes that won't matter. I press my fingers to my kanji, _'Love'_. Even I can be foolish from time to time, the whole point of this tattoo was, so that I could see and feel love no matter what happens. I am going to get fucked up tonight and it is because, I want to be with _him_.

I lay the towel over my face and I inhale the lavender. Lavender is supposed to promote calmness and relaxation, which is funny. I can achieve that with a certain raven-haired gentlemen. Like he said, he is my calm and my quiet. I manage to pull myself out of the tub and I move over to the sink with my vodka in hand. I can see my green eyes and beautiful skin…to bad it is littered with bruises and rope burns now. Fuck it! I chose this all on my own and _he_ tried, but I couldn't deal. I am such a fucking idiot, why can't I just smile and be normal? I pull myself onto the counter and I can feel deep thought coming on. "Hey save that shit for later! Tonight you are partying and you are beautiful." I arch my eyebrow. "Okay, minus the bruising and rope burns. Come on and get dress, everyone is downstairs waiting." I just nod as I slip off the counter. "I must've been out for a while?" Baki just nods his head as he closes the bedroom door behind him.

I pull out some black boxer briefs and slide them on. I am still tender, and it's becoming evident all too quickly. I put on my mesh top and slide my thumbs thru the holes; I look over at the mirror. I can clearly see the bruising on my chest, which means I have to put something over this top. Fuck, I should choke Baki. I pull on a red fitted tank and some red and black plaid pants. The only thing not marked is my pelvis…thank the heavens, because my red shirt is not that long. I put on my black and silver studded belt. I like it because it looks like I have on two belts. I put on my leather bracelets, and fix my eyeliner. I know the Ludes are kicking in because, the fact that my ribs may be cracked is no longer an issue. Quaaludes are like hard candy for teenagers, and I feel like I can fly (obvious euphoria).

I check myself over in the mirror and you cannot see in signs of Baki's overactive play! Yes, people that is what we are going to call it, but I did do it to myself…I could have easily stayed in the car with _him_. _He_ would have been fine with it and I can imagine _him_ watching me from across the room, right now. I close my eyes to bring myself back to where I am now…with Baki. He and his friends are waiting for me...Fuck it all! I hit the stairs, I can hear talking, billiard balls knocking together, and a video game. I don't even bother to look up. There is no one here for me anyway. I head to the kitchen because I never finished my food, I heat it up and then, I hear someone.

"Sexy Gaara Sabaku, I don't know why you just don't drop Baki already and come with me. I would treat you like the sex god you are…damn you're gorgeous!" Komaza it useless, always infatuated and it's pathetic. I guess that sort of thing is supposed to make me blush. On the other hand, I am Gaara not some stupid, insecure imbecile. Then again, I am high as a kite, so might as well have a little fun. "Komaza, I am not your type…if I remember correctly you only like woman." I snap my chopsticks and pull myself onto the counter waiting for an answer.

"Sexy Gaara, I will be whatever you want me to be. All I need is a chance and then we will see what you say then!" Komaza is always so confident and I can see Baki at the billiard table twitching. Baki hates it when someone hits on me and he really hates it when I encourage it, but as I said, I am high… Fuck it! "Komaza do you have the strength to tame something like me? Baki even has a hard time keeping up with me. I go and come as I please." I lift my eyebrow and I can see him tremble under my glare. I can make tough guys go to mush, something like this would never work on Sasuke…he is way too clever. "Could you handle me?" Komaza nods his head like a fool. "You are so sexy and I could give you what you need! I can beg for it, if you like. I will touch you and you will whisper my name." Komaza grinned from ear to ear and Baki slammed the cue down hard. He is mad and for what? Absolutely nothing because that was what this was or is.

He stepped around the counter and straight to me, he is so pissed and I really don't care. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Provoking him like that…are you trying to piss me off?" He is trying to speak quietly, but he growled every word and it was getting attention from his company. Did I mention that, I hate such spectacles as this one Baki is displaying? Well I do and he is fucking with my buzz, which is so not cool. "Komaza is just flirting and at the end…I am where?" He slammed his fists to the counter and everyone flinches except me, because it's only a tantrum. "Why do you let him talk to you like that!" See, now he is getting loud and the game gets paused. I can see that his acid took a wrong turn, and I have to deal with it. I cross my legs and swallow what is in my mouth.

"You are only inches from my face. There is no need to shriek. As for Komaza, it is just playful banter, because I am here for you and only you." I tilt my head to cement it and his posture relaxes. I told you tough boys are easy to play and besides they lack the brainpower to really tango with me. "Could you just cool it for tonight, you haven't been around in months, and I'm just a little self conscious, alright." Now that he whispered, and self-conscious? Wow, that is a really big word for him, which means he is fucking someone new and smart. Maybe not as smart as me, but could probably piss me off quickly. I shrug. "I am not going to promise that, I am going to have a good time and you are just going to have to deal." He clinches fists, but he knows that I am right, okay I guess I can be nice… "I will promise… that no matter what, I am yours tonight and only yours." He grins, then leans over and kisses me. He is such a simpleton and that is so boring. I don't want to here, I want to be somewhere else.

"Komaza, stay away from Gaara or I'm going to kick your ass." Komaza looks up from the game and I shake my head because Baki would never. "Do you see what Gaara is wearing? He smells like lavender and is just as hot as any chick! Dude, I am just playing, but everyone else won't be." Komaza snickered. "But if you and I weren't family…Man, I would have to have Gaara Sabaku."

Baki flinched at the very thought of someone other than him hovering over me. "Gaara is the only thing you have ever had that I wanted and I am not into guys, but Gaara…Shit, it don't matter." The people in the room nodded their heads in agreement. What do you know...I am fuck worthy! I could careless though, because this place is not for me anymore and I can feel it. I will be home soon and he will be there, then he will find me again.

Ten-Nine-eight-Seven-Six-Five-Four-Three-Two-One, Happy New Year!

_Should __old__ acquaintance be forgot,  
and never brought to mind ?  
Should __old__ acquaintance be forgot,  
and __old__ times since ?_

_For auld lang syne, my dear, _

_for auld lang syne, _

_we'll take a cup of kindness yet, _

_for auld lang syne. _

_And surely you'll __buy__ your pint __cup__ !  
And surely I'll __buy__ mine !  
And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,  
for auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my dear, _

_for auld lang syne, _

_we'll take a cup of kindness yet, _

_for auld lang syne. _

_We __two have__ run about the __slopes__,  
and __picked__ the __daisies__ fine ;  
But we've wandered __many__ a weary __foot__,  
__since__ auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my dear, _

_for auld lang syne, _

_we'll take a cup of kindness yet, _

_for auld lang syne. _

_We __two have paddled__ in the __stream__,  
__from__ morning sun till dine;  
But seas between us __broad have roared__  
__since__ auld lang syne._

_For auld lang syne, my dear, _

_for auld lang syne, _

_we'll take a cup of kindness yet, _

_for auld lang syne. _

_And there's a hand my trusty __friend__ !  
And __give us__ a hand o' thine !  
And we'll __take__ a right __good-will draught__,  
for auld lang syne._

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Yessuka, Do not shove the cookie maker in the oven! You are one of my favorites and I am not sure what I would do without such powerful words of encouragement. I have been holding on to this chapter for a couple of days, because I wanted to wait until Friday. I knew that you would have plenty of time to enjoy it that way. I will try to get nine out by Saturday evening! Keep your fingers crossed.

Everyone else is encouraged to review...


	9. Chapter 9: Waking

Do not own the Naruto!

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Chapter 9: Waking**

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I hate waking up in such pain, and for what? So that Baki can get his jollies. That fucker managed to dislocate my shoulder again last night, and he was so fucked up that it took two tries to pop it back in place! I cannot do this anymore. It was okay when I was younger. When I didn't crave anything or anyone, but now it is different and I am done with this. I am ready to be found. I am ready for him to text me and ask me, am I ready. I sure hope he does, because this hurts too much and this makes me want, what I have now…even more.

I miss the swearing, the bad jokes, and endless chuckles. I sigh as I realize that I woke up alone, I really don't care though. Because I miss the witty banter, stupid one-liners, and ear-to-ear smiles. My hand tingles and my ribs hurt, but I still miss beautiful black eyes. Those eyes make this time my home and give me a place that is truly mine in this world. Most of all I miss the conversations in the dark, the way he is always watching me, and the way that the invaders have made me love them.

I am here though, and here I will remain because a promise is a promise. I wander into the bathroom and I notice a couple of Ludes waiting for me, but I would much rather aspirin at this point. I search through a drawer and manage to find what I desire. I swallow them without water and I brush my teeth. I look in the mirror to assess the damage from yesterdays' events. It looks like someone tried to fucking kill me, but I would expect no less from Baki.

Last night, nothing or no one mattered. I danced the entire night and whenever someone got to friendly, that someone just magically disappeared. Baki was on edge the entire night, like I was going to fuck someone in the middle of the dance floor. Do I look pathetic to you? Of course not people, I am a cynic not desperate. I thought about how I could get Baki to loosen up. So, I decided to give him head in a dark corner and for a while, he was right as rain! At least until someone named, Satetsu showed up. We were dancing, but he got all grab ass and started to put his hands everywhere. Before I could tell the guy to chill, Baki and Komaza took the guy outside and kicked his ass. The Satetsu guy was upset about something and I just happen to be his target to get Baki's attention. The dude said something about betrayal or taking something? Fuck if I know, I was so high that I really didn't care.

Nonetheless, I am still a little curious as to why someone would deliberately walk into ass whipping? It has to do with Baki, because he is hiding something and I have a feeling I will found out soon what it is. Baki is always trying to pull some bullshit, but he is not clever enough to pull it off. He said it's because I am just too hard to lie too. The whole night Baki acted paranoid and his jealousy was a little more intense, than usual. Fuck it! I look through the only drawer I have here and find a long sleeve shirt. I pull it on because I would rather not see the damage, only feel it. I make the bed before I start down the stairs. I decided to make myself a mushroom omelet and a couple of sausage. I sit at the counter, because the dining room table is just too big. I here someone come through the door screaming my name. I just look up to see a very angry Baki with my phone in his hand.

"Who the fuck is Sasuke and why does he keep fucking texting you! Are you trying to play me stupid, do you think I am a joke!" Yes to all of the above and why does dummy have my phone anyway? I sigh because he is going to be mad either way it goes. "Sasuke is my friend and he is just making sure I am okay. Why do you have my phone Baki?" Baki slams my poor defenseless phone on the counter. "You left it in the fucking car last night! It seems to me that he is more than a fucking friend! Texting you about are you ready to be found because he is ready to find you! Who the fuck does he think he is anyway! Are you fucking him? Are you with that little bitch? Because if you are, you will regret it…I swear you will!"

Baki is really doing something he should not be doing because he is throwing all types of accusations and threats around. "Baki, just tell me what is, because you are getting ridiculous." He looks at me stupidly and turns away quickly. "I don't know what you are talking about! Are you going to answer me or not?" Someone starts to bang on the door and Baki looks a little sick and I get up to answer it but, he grabs my hand. "You better open this fucking door Baki! I saw your punk ass and I know you saw me! Open this fucking door before I set this whole building on fire! You lying bitch, you told me you had to go out of town!" I lifted my eyebrow, so that is the new/smart lover.

I pull away from him and I open the door. You would have to see it… to believe it! The guy had orange hair, an earring in his chin, and his completion reminded me of Naruto. He was wearing bright pink skinny jeans and a mesh shirt to match it, the dude looked like a frilly peacock. He had on pink fake eyelashes, with pink lipstick, and eye shadow to match. I mean really? I mean he is for real and I mean really? "Who the fuck are you! Why are you at my man's house!" Wow this…umm just turned really, gay and this is so not my scene. I just turn away from the freak of nature and return to my breakfast, I refused to be apart of such foolishness. "Who do you think you are! Walking away from me! This is my man and you had better tell me what this is all about! Baki, you just going to let him turn his back to me like that, you think this a game!" I swallow what is in my mouth.

"Yeah Baki are you just going to let me disrespect your peacock, like that?" It is times like these that I really wish, I could laugh because this is classic! "Gaara this is not what it looks like, baby!" The peacock slaps Baki. "Why the fuck are you apologizing to him and your baby is right fucking here!" Baki looked a little confused and torn. I took my plate into the kitchen while the peacock screeched and cried. "Who are you and why are you ruining our life!" Okay I am so tired of this and it has only been five minutes.

"I am Gaara Sabaku, I have been fucking Baki off and on for years now. I have a key and my birth date is the alarm code. I have a nickname, I have a drawer upstairs, those are my books on the shelves, and that tub upstairs was once just for me." The peacock look stunned and angry. "Baki is mine! He told me he loved me and I will not give him up to some Goth freak!" Okay so I am guessing the peacock gets smart taking off his list for the last comment he made. "Like you can talk." I just shrug as I walk pass them. "I am done with Baki and I will just take my things and go. What ever I leave, you can just drop it in the trash because I don't need it anymore." I dress quickly as I the hear the peacock shrieking and Baki is still calling my name. I am done, this place is not for me anymore. I drop my key on the table next to the door and take one last look at the screeching peacock and Baki, then I leave it all. Fuck it, I didn't want to be there anyway.

The air is cold when I exit the door, I pull a cigarette out of my bag and light it. With the lighter I took from Komaza last night. I always knew that things with Baki would end badly, but that was preposterous. This is one of those stories you just have to tell over and over, but I am not very talkative. That means the likelihood of this ever leaving my mouth various from never to maybe. I start to walk because lets be honest it is New Years day and no buses run today. Fuck, it's going to take me forever to get home! I inhale the smoke deeply and push it threw my nose. My phone starts to vibrate, I just knew Baki had broken it when he slammed on the counter.

"Yeah?" I'm really not in the mood to talk since I have a long way to go. "Happy New Year, Red! How are you this fine afternoon?" Okay, so the list of people that I would tell the truth to is short, but Naruto Uzumaki is on that very short list. So, I am going to tell him the truth. "I am walking with a limp. I have bruises and rope burns all over my body. My arm tingles, because I think it is still dislocated and I think my ribs are cracked to." I sigh as if relieved. "Happy New Year, Naruto." Before I knew it, I heard _him_. "Red were are you?" His voice just sends my body into a tranquil state. "I am walking up main street in Sands and it is cold." Sasuke sighed. "Just keep walking, me and Naruto will be there as soon as possible." I close my phone and finish my cigarette. This is proving to be a really shitty day.

My phone vibrates again and I answer it. "I heard you met Buttercup?" That peacock's name is Buttercup? Really that is just pathetic, and hilarious! Fuck it! "Komaza there has to be a point to this call, so could you get to it." Komaza chuckled. "I want you Gaara, I've always wanted to taste you." I am not in the mood to fuck with anyone in Sands. "Komaza, I am done here in Sands and I won't be back." Komaza sighed. "I will take care of you better than Baki did and I will make sure you never want for anything." I must admit, he sounds very serious and truthful. The offer is not that tempting, for me anyway. "Naw, Komaza I am going to have to pass. I think I'm going to try something new, to really bring in the New Year." He chuckled. "That is a gotdamn shame, I was sure hoping to make you mine. If you get bored you know where to find me and trust me…I will be waiting." I hang up my phone and pull out another cigarette and light it, it was really calming my nerves.

However, I am kind of regretting not taking those fucking Quaaludes. I smoke my cigarette down to the filter, then toss it. I can see a muscle car coming down the other side of the street and its moving fast. I squint and I recognize it immediately as Sasuke. He does a quick u-turn, but before it has landed good Sasuke pops out of the passenger seat, okay so how is driving? "Are you hurt? Let me see, Red." I of course let him see, I lift my shirt and for a second I could have sworn he flinched. He touched my ribs and I whimpered.

"What the fuck happened to you Gaara, someone try to kill you?" I should have known Naruto was driving, because he was the only person Sasuke trusted. I shake my head, because now I know it really does look bad. "We need to get you to a hospital." I shake my head, because I know I would probably test positive for quite a few illegal substances. "Can't I just go see Itachi's friend Kazuzu? I really don't feel like explaining this to the hospital or the cops." I could see he was worried and I hated the look of distress in his eyes. But, he silently agreed as he set with me in the backseat. He texted his brother and the pace of the car drew me into a deep sleep.

The next thing I feel is cold air hitting my face and I open eyes to see Sasuke's house ascending on me quickly, I can feel the warmth of a body. I curl towards the heat and I hear a familiar. "Hn." Did I mention this man does strange things to me. "It sounded pretty bad, is he okay, or do you know if he has taken anything." I know that question will have to be answered truthfully, eventually. We entered the house and Sasuke laid me down on the couch as the adults hovered over me. "He looks alright to me." Sasuke heaved a sigh. "Red, take off your shirt and show them." At first, I really regretted not going to the hospital. Then again, I would rather answer these people, than the cops. I sit up with hesitation and Sasuke helped anchor me, as I take off my shirt. "Oh' my god! Where does it hurt, you have to tell me so I can help you!" Itachi's eyes were the size of dinner plates and Sasori dropped a glass and headed to the nearest toilet.

"The bruises and rope burns are fine. It is just my ribs, and I have trouble lifting my arm. I think he set it wrong last night." Kazuzu and Itachi looked confused at my choice of words, but it was true. "I mess around with a guy that is a little rough and it got way out of hand." Kazuzu smirked, he pulled my arm out of place and quickly reset it. I whimpered, but to be honest it was not that bad. I could move my fingers without the painful tingling so that is good. "Now as for those ribs, it appears that one of them is cracked and the other two are bruised. Have been taking anything, Gaara?" I always hate that fucking question. I take inventory in my head to make sure I don't forget anything, then I tell him the truth.

"I took a couple of hits of acid, twelve Quaaludes, some angel dust, and a speed tablet. The high quality shit, not that crunchy herbal rave bullshit." Kazuzu looked at me in shock and Itachi just shook his head. "All of which I am certain, I will test positive for. Nevertheless, I can assure that the effects of the afore mentioned drugs has worn off." Sasori and Naruto's mouths gaped open in shock.

"He is an honor student, huh Itachi?" Itachi chuckled. "Yes, I dare say he is and what a wonderful treat he has turned out to be." Kazuzu pulled a prescription pad, a syringe, and a vile of something from his bag. "Of that I am sure. Gaara I am going to prescribe you some vicodine and an antibiotic to make sure that no infection sets in. Also I am going to give you a shot that will make you sleep for a while." He lifted his brow. "You need to keep still for the next couple of days and maybe find someone a little less hazardous." I sigh, "I can safely say that Sands is no longer where I desire to be." Itachi placed his hand on Kazuzu. "I can assure the your orders will be followed, because he will be staying here." I hate being babysitted, but Itachi was as close to a parent as I had gotten in a very long. "Sasuke he will be staying in your room, so you and Naru need to help him upstairs. Then one of you needs to go collect his things, also inform Cutter and Mari." The boys helped me up the stairs and into the bed. I passed out before I could admire the large bedroom.

I open my eyes to complete darkness, I must have slept the rest of the day. Damn, what did Kazuzu give me? Fuck, I wonder if it has a street name and if it does, I'll never know. All that is over now, No more Sands, No more Baki, and No more needing to disappear, I want to be found. I hate trying to learn something new. I hate being worried that I will fail, and then there is that little fact that I don't know where to begin. I could try smiling, but that will take forever for me to perfect. I hate that this is difficult, but I have to learn this…I need to know that I can be at his side and look like I belong there. That is so fucking stupid! I hate all types of sports, I am not athletic, and I spend most of my time in my own head. I am a freak compared to everyone, and yet I want him. We always want the things that are not for us, I just need to know if I can obtain it.

I hate to just ask, because I can't stand to be the one asking. If you noticed, I always know and this is just new. Fuck it, this is way too much thinking. I stretch and then, flinch because it still hurts. "You should try not to overextend, Red." It was like a breeze of vanilla and I shivered. "He grabs my hand a puts something in it. "You need to take these, do you want some water?" I am in a daze and I hear his famous Hn. "I think that is a yes." I feel his weight shift on the bed, I put the pills in my mouth, and he puts a bottle of water in my hand. He gets up again and pulls back the curtain. The moonlight lights the huge room. I look down at the bed and notice that he was sleeping beside me. He was sleeping beside me and I didn't even know it. "What time is it?" He looks over at me. "About 2:30 in the morning." He looks so beautiful leaning next to the window and he just shines in the moonlight.

"You have everyone worried, Red. At about midnight, Itachi sent everyone home and…" I can't see it, but I know it is there, that distress that I saw before I went to syringe heaven. "Red, I need you to know that…I will always be here and that Baki is a loser. It makes me sick that you would let him hurt you like that, but it is your body so whatever." He sighed. "Could you just try to avoid losers in the near future. I really would hate it… if someone killed you, before I get my answer." Those words cut me to the core and I can only think about how true those words are. "I'm going to try my best to restrain myself in the near future." Sasuke chuckles my favorite chuckle, I cannot help but love everything he does. The man is my home and he doesn't even know it. "I do not think restraint is the problem, I think it is a little more complicated, especially when it comes to you.

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Yessuka, I know it's a little late but I am sure the Muffin man is still in one piece? He better had be or you are not getting anything else! LOL. At any rate, I wanted this out sooner, but my job sucks! Well, I sure hope you enjoy this one because it sure was fun writing it. As for lemon writing, it takes me at least three days to write them and I have my friend Kay constantly hovering and deleting things. He is my gay guru! He has first hand knowledge and is my constant companion when I decided it is lemon time! He is a total ass, but he helps me write the best stuff! Yessuka, find a muse and work on that story! I have you know I like that story very much. Be good because it will be a while until the next chapter goes up!

**You can review if you want…**


	10. Chapter 10: Longest Conversation

I do not own Naruto and that sucks!

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Chapter 10: Longest Conversation of my Life**

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I can feel my insides quiver at the accusation and I want to ask why. Then again, I am Gaara, so of course I am not going to ask. I sure hope he explains, though. "You're always watching the world and you spend most of your time on cruise control." He sits in the windowsill and crosses his arms. This man is a deity and I cannot help but wonder which one. "That is acceptable and one can only imagine what you have seen with those eyes of yours. I know it is hard for you to interact or react for that matter." He chuckled that perfect chuckle…well I think its perfect! "You make me talk more than I am used to. I guess I just want you to know." Okay so, that is all relevant but why do this tonight? I mean, fuck it! "I don't expect you to be something else."

I can feel those eyes on me even in the darkness. "I like who you are, and that is why I give you my undivided attention. I always listen to you and make sure I never miss anything. I guess I just need you to know, that someone is witnessing everything you do and say." The weight of his words is suffocating, because is that what I want…for someone to let me know that I am seen. "You see me Sasuke Uchiha?" I can see him shift, but I cannot determine if it is discomfort at my words or in curiosity of them. That is one of the disadvantages of darkness and the advantages are infinite. "I see everything, Gaara Sabaku. I see everything, because that is what I need to do for you." His soft sigh trails away in the darkness. "I am here to be your witness and because of that. I have made sure to become someone you, yourself needs."

I can feel my face warming. His words always, make me feel extraordinary, but those words pushed there way threw and opened a door. A door, I was sure that I had lost the key to many years ago. "Why say this? At the end of the evening, when the light chases away the darkness and intrudes on us…Karin will still be there and I will still be there." What the fuck was that? Why did I say such a foolish thing, am I stupid? "Hn, I am still waiting for an answer, Gaara. Should I not be with someone who wants to be with me?" I told you he was a clever little fuck! Always choosing his words carefully and making sure, I have to answer! What is that supposed to mean anyway? I hate that he is waiting on something from me! Why am I such an idiot when it comes to this! On the other hand, that was a cheap shot. "That is unfair Uchiha, and quite underhanded if you look at it from my perspective."

I know he is smirking because I can hear it, when he speaks. "It is only natural that I answer truthfully and most ardently." This is why I hate talking, because it gets you in trouble! I am here now, so I might as well let it be known, what I am thinking. "I try to remember, but it is so hard. I left someone…some part of me, behind so long ago. I learned to be self-sufficient in many ways and now I'm not sure what you ask is possible." Sasuke is silent and I wish I had something better to say. "Hn, I'm not sure if I would like that person much, anyway. How about you decided what this Gaara is capable of, before we go digging around for a person you never really met anyway." I love how he knows without even knowing. "This is where we start from and I would like an answer, from who you are…now."

I want to answer but there are so many questions, and that suffocating feeling is pressing down on me. He touches my face and brings me back. "Sasuke I am not a romantic and I have a tendency to be brutal at times, especially when it comes to words. But for now, I just need you to know that I don't know." I sigh inwardly because this shit is hard! "I just know I don't want to leave this place. You made this my time and place." Damn Raven, never leading…always waiting until I get there in my own time and in my own way. "Hn, Red you are one peculiar person. Just tell me what I want to hear and then we can start from here, together."

It is not that easy! People, tell him it is not that easy! I am not that easy, my mind is asking questions, now. Questions that are screaming for answers and it's so loud that I cannot hear myself think! I close my eyes tightly trying to force the questions to stop blaring at me. The damn things are relentless and unforgiving, please! This is the first time I have ever felt like a hostage in my on head and it hurts my heart.

"Stop," His voice chased the chaos away and I open my eyes to see his hands reaching for me. He is on the bed with me and I cannot help but wonder what it would be like…fuck it! His finger passes over my lips and I can taste heaven. "Could you just stay with me and not let your thoughts consume you, tonight." That request seems impossible but for tonight, I think I am going to try really hard. I just nod my head and I place both of my hands on that very hand that traced my lips. I kiss his wrist and I can hear his breath hitch. I reach over and place my hand gently at the nape of his neck, he lets me do it, and he doesn't tense once. So, I pull myself to him and I kiss his lips.

Those soft lips taste of vanilla. I cannot help but want more of this addicting taste. I press my lips to his again and I suck on his bottom lip, savoring that taste. I want to slide my tongue in his mouth, but I am afraid he will reject me. So, instead, I kiss the corner of his mouth and then he slides his hands to my hips and pulls onto his lap. The kiss is deepened with the sudden jerk forward. Even his tongue taste of vanilla, as it pushes, its way into my mouth. This new sensation is making my head spin. I suck his tongue and he moans into my mouth. He starts to trail soft kisses down my neck and a moan escapes my throat. What, a freaking moan and it was from freaking me!

Okay , so I have to be honest! I have never in my life felt like this and I don't ever make sound, but people this is just way to good! I can feel him smirking on my skin and he sucks hard on my shoulder, I know he is leaving his mark. He starts rubbing my back in circles and I cannot help but to get aroused. This was so intimate and yet still so innocent. He let those perfect lips ghost over my face, his breath is cool, and it sends chills through me like a winter breeze. He finally let his lips land on my eyelid. The kiss was so soft, that another moan pushes its way past my slightly parted lips.

"You like this don't you, Red." I cannot help but feel a little nervous at the statement. "Hn, it is okay Red. It's meant just for you anyway." You see what I have to deal with! This guy is un-fucking-believable! "I just want to touch tonight and maybe someday soon I will get my answer." He trails his fingers up my back and across my chest, I feel myself shaking. The shit is totally involuntary, I swear! He moves those perfectly sculpted fingers down my small abs and across my ribs. Those fingers are so warm and it I was a crazy, I would swear that they could burn me. He captured my mouth into another passionate kiss. My head is sent spinning because of that kiss, and I cannot help but, fucking moan again. Fuck it! His hand moves up to my face and across my Kanji. He caresses me as softly as he speaks... "Love," he whispers and I cannot help but want to be right here, even more.

He traces the Kanji with his fingers and I can feel the coil of heat in my stomach. I am not sure why it is there. I mean…we are not really doing anything! He moves his lips over my kanji and presses them very lightly. I can feel that stupid coil about to snap and it is freaking me out! He moves his lips from my tattoo, to my eyelid from there to my cheek and then, back to my lips. He invades my mouth as he pulls me to him and I'll be damned! That fucking coil snapped, I moan, and I feel like a complete loser! He was just fucking touching me and not in the places that usually send me over the edge! I came all over myself and for what? It wasn't even heavy petting, people! He doesn't say anything though; he just places his arms loosely around my waist. I must admit, it feels good to be in his lap and in his arms. The fucking vicodin is kicking in and that means I am headed back off to sleepy town, fuck it!

Okay so I am awake, but I have yet to open my eyes. Why…well that is a stupid question! Everyone knows that the morning after is usually awkward. I hate to think that Sasuke might not be, the same Sasuke. I know that is stupid, but it is true. I am a complete mess when it comes to anything dealing with the said Raven. He makes me say almost everything that comes to mind. Plus, it would piss me off, if he looks at me differently. "Red, I know you're awake so just open your eyes, already." I hate that he knows me, so well. Not to mention I am still a complete loser for cumming all over myself last night! I open my green eyes and I see beautiful onyx ones staring at me. "Welcome back Red, I see you took the long way around?" Oh! He is so freaking gorgeous!

"That vicodin is a little strong." That gotdamn smirk, again. "Well, after you told him what you had been on the pervious day…he felt you needed a higher dose to combat any issues." That was really smart; no wonder Kazuzu's a doctor. "Do you want to take a shower?" Of course I do! I think you know very well what I did in my pants last night. I just lift my eyebrow and nod my head. I find that I am a little shaky on my legs, but he is right there to catch me. I hate depending on someone, but this right here…is not really that bad. He helped me to the bathroom and I just sit on the toilet. Because I know that, I'm completely useless at this point. "You know Red, you look angry, is there something on your mind?" He turned on the shower and I stood up way to quickly, because my still ribs hurt like a bitch, but at least I didn't fall. I walk over to the shower and get in with my pant on, I pull them off and toss them out. "I can leave if you want?" I can hear him moving towards the door and I just didn't want him to go.

"No, you're fine where you are. I am not angry. I guess I'm a little confused." I can hear him settle on the counter and I know he wants me to keep talking, but I feel…well…stupid. "You asked me if I wanted to be loved and at first I felt it was impossible. I had decided a long time ago, that everyone was not meant for this life, and eventually I accepted that I was one of those people." I let the water chase away the soap as I stand under the water. "Then you came and wanted something that I haven't needed in a long time. It was insane to think that someone like you even cared." My chest is starting to ache. "I guess I am saying… I'm not worth it, but then again who am I to tell you whom you can love." I sigh inwardly, because this shit is hard too! "Just think about it this way though, my own father who helped give me life…doesn't even love me." Wow, that really sucks once I say it out loud, but what can I do? "I just want you to know that I am not worth your love and I know that because I know me. Karin on the other hand, shines just like you do and she is normal, very crazy. But, yet and still she is acknowledged." I can hear him chuckle softly and I am fucking offended!

"Red, once again you are not answering the question, you are just giving me reasons. So, why don't you start by answering the question first." This is stupid and I know better than to talk in circles, but I cannot help it! He makes me silly and unproductive! Fine, Fuck it! "Yes, I do." He pulls the shower curtain open and if I were easily embarrassed, this would be unusual. "That was a good start, now do you want to be loved by me?" Is he fucking kidding me! Hell, it took me almost two months to admit to the first fucking question! "Umm, I always wonder if you were a natural redhead…apparently you are." I roll my eyes, as if I haven't heard that one before. "I take it, I am not going to get answer right away?" I just glare at him, but it never has an affect on him. "Can I have kiss from my favorite redhead?"

I look at those perfectly pink lips as they come toward me, he kissed me gently and smiled. "I'm going running with the rest of the group. You are going to be stuck here with Itachi and Sasori." He closed the curtain as he continued. "Try not to make me wait another two months for another answer." He is such an ass, just like Naruto says. I finished up my shower and I take a look in the mirror. The purple and blue bruising looks horrible! There is a large splash of yellow and blue around my ribs. I would be pissed, but it is a waste of time. To be perfectly honest I did it to myself. Baki was just a catalyst and I could have said no, but I didn't say anything. I walk back into his room and it is really nice.

His bed is all black with four giant posts. A black comforter with the kanji's whole and complete in white, his sheets where black. There were throw pillows with the kanji's on them that lined the right side of the bed (the left side was pulled back so I could lay back down). In one of the corners, was a black loveseat with bookshelves full of books behind it. The whole and complete Kanji's were everywhere…on the throw over the loveseat's arm, on the lampshades on his bedside tables. The kanji's even manage to make it on the scarf that hung over his window. His floor was a black marble, this was a really nice room for a teenage boy. He had a small desk in the opposite corner with his laptop sitting open.

The walls were black and he had a giant flat screen that sat above a black table with doors. The flat screen is what is catching my eye though and not because it looks like the one Baki has, but because… On the screen there are photos flashing, it has photos of him and Karin, his teammates, the girls, his friends, his brother, and makeshift family. I even see a couple of photos of my dad and he's smiling, that is rarity. That wasn't what I noticed the most though…I see me. I mean all type of pictures of me. I am at school, at home, in the park, listening to music and in all the photos my eyes are never open or I am reading. I look sad, I mean I look really sad or like I'm lost. I mean pictures don't have a reason to lie! I guess I do have and awful look on my face or no it is my eyes, my eyes have been betraying me all this time! They tell me everything, so I guess they tell him everything too. This is so stupid and why me anyway! I am everything those people who I care for are not, I am a freak! I'm not mad about... it's just the way things turned out.

All right, fine! I want him to love me, but… Oh yes people there is a big ass but! But, I am nothing like what, he needs and besides…I like me. So, there is no way in hell I'm going to change! On the other hand, he did say he likes me the way I am, but I have to ask! Is that good enough? Yeah, maybe for now, but people get tired of unusual and lets be honest, I got my freak card when I was young. "Red, come down here and eat something." Itachi is so commanding and I wouldn't dream of disobeying him! I slipped on a long-sleeved shirt and hurried downstairs.

I came in the kitchen and Sasori handed me some pasta. I would have asked what is was exactly, but Itachi was hovering and I just ate it. "Lift you shirt Red, Kazuzu prescribed an ointment for the bruising." I lifted my shirt and he started to rub it in, it smelled awful. "Who this guy anyway?" I hate when people ask that question, because everyone always gets so upset. However, as I said before…I would not dream of disobeying Itachi. "His name is Baki Nakata, he is twenty-four years old, and he lives in the warehouse district of Sands." Itachi nodded his head as if taking note, which is just making me nervous. "Alright you are all set." He pulled my shirt back down. "You do know that is called statutory rape in twenty-five states and his ass needs to be picked up on the fucking charge." You see, that's why I hate when people care. They always throw words around like statutory and rape. "Baki is harmless when it comes to most adolescents. I was an exception, because I intrigued him and I will not be going back there."

I sure hope he drops the matter because it is stupid if you ask me. Why, because I believe all the states should set the age of consent to sixteen. By that age, you have enough common sense to have sex or not. "If I every hear anything else about that sick fuck, I will make sure Kisame gets his sorry ass." What would Kisame have to do with the cops? Itachi smirked, that Uchiha smirk. "Red, you are hopeless. Kisame is a detective on the Sands police force." Well, isn't that comforting! "Take these and go back to bed." I swallow the pills with the bottle of water handed to me and he points to the stairs. Adults suck! I mean because they are so nosy, I guess that is what a parent does. I wouldn't know... my dad barely looks at me. I pull on some black socks from my bag and go back to sleep.

"Hey Gaara wake up." That is Mari, I would know that worry anywhere. I open my eyes and sure enough, it is she. "You had me so worried, idiot. I told you Baki was a loser, did he put you out or something?" I shake my head, no. "Well, I want an answer." I sigh, because there is no way to avoid her. "He has a boyfriend, now. He lied to that boyfriend and that boyfriend found out. The boyfriend came over and he reminded me of a peacock. That boyfriend then freaked out and I left. Naruto called and asked, so I told him. After that, Sasuke and Naruto came. I saw Kazuzu and he said it looked bad. Kazuzu put my arm back and then I was drugged." I knew that everyone was in the room, because…well they're not the quietest bunch. They were going to find out what happened, eventually.

"Yes, he was drugged and after he eats this, he is going to be drugged, again." I sat up and Itachi handed me some kind of soup? People, you know I don't even protest because, it's Itachi. I noticed that everyone is here and Shino is sitting on my brother? I tilt my head at the sight and Kankuro just laughs. "Yeah, New Years was pretty interesting, Red." Kankuro put his are lazily around Shino's waist. I figured those two would get it together. "Shino's parents like me to." He was grinning from ear-to-ear. I ate, while everyone lazed around watching television. Karin the man-eater was sitting on Sasuke. I could see her watching me and it is never good, if she is playing attention to me.

"So, don't you have a home you could like…go to?" I knew she was going to say something stupid to me and I can see Tamari getting mad. "Not that it is any of your concern, but Itachi thought is best for Red to stay with us." She looked stunned and honestly so did the rest of us. Sasuke never got in the middle of Karin and me. "How can you say that? This is your house and he is in your bed!" Sasuke remained dead faced as he answered her. "If you do not like it…leave and if you say one more thing to Red, I am going to ask Neji to take you home. All that animosity towards him is unnecessary and if you keep it up…we are done." She jumped off his lap, as if something bit her.

"So, what I can't be uncomfortable? He looks at you as if he wants you! Then, when he is talking to you, it is like I don't fucking exist!" She put her hands on her hips, she was really pissed. "I am the one you are fucking! Are you fucking him? Are you fucking that redheaded freak!" I could see that Naruto was getting mad too and he never liked Karin, so I was hoping she would shut up. "I don't see where one has to do with the other. I just said, don't say anything else to him or we're done." He looked at her and she flinched. "I am not going to tell you again." She crossed her arms across her chest. "Can we go talk about this somewhere else?" Now the man-eater wants to be rational. Sasuke stood up and walked out the room with Karin on his heels. A couple of seconds later, Itachi came in. "What is that all about?" Everyone pointed at me and I just shrugged. He handed me my sleepy town meds and rubbed the awful smelling ointment on me. He even kissed my head before he left and I liked it.

"I hate that bitch, I hope she says something else and he drops her!" Naruto is always the first to voice his opinion. "I was going to deck her, if she said one more thing." That was a surprise, because Sakura said it. She blushed. "Okay, so Gaara grew on me! Can you blame me, he is easy to be around, and he draws the best sketches of me." I can feel my face rearrange a little. "Is that a smile? I have not seen one of those from you since you were eight!" Kankuro laughed. "Damn, I need a camera!" Leave it to my sibling to overreact. "Aww, Red…why did it have to go away so soon?" I roll my eyes. "Leave it to you two to spoil it for everyone." Sakura cracked the window to be nosy as I snuggled back into bed.

"So, what you care about him more than you care about me? We have been together since the ninth grade!" Sasuke sighed. "Karin, you are always fucking someone behind my back and maybe I do care about him more…do you blame?" I could hear her shriek and it was a little unsettling. "I have always been a screw up and now it is a problem! I mean, what are you trying to say!" I could hear someone shift in the grass. "I'm saying I am tired of you coming back when you feel like and I am tired of not caring about what you do. Truth be told, I never cared what you did…it never affected us." You could hear her squealing. "Yeah, I know! That is why we work so well, but I want to know if you're messing with him." Someone shifted again. "Why? Is that an issue for you, if I am?" She squealed again. "I am not like you Sasuke! I care what you do and whom you do it with! Because I am afraid you might fall in love!"

"Karin, me and Gaara are just friends. We have not done anything and to be honest…if I had the opportunity, I would love him." Okay, raise your hand if you do not want to hear the rest of this conversation. Damn people, could you be on my side…just once! "So where does that leave us? I love you, can he say that!" Sasuke sighed. "It is not about that, Red is one of those people you have to wait for." Sasuke chuckled. "I guess I am willing to wait for him. Karin you can stay around or you can leave, but either way I am waiting on someone else." I could hear her crying and I felt somewhat bad. I tried to bury myself because I could feel the eyes in the room on me and thank the heavens my meds were kicking in! "I don't know Sasuke! Why him, he is nothing like us!"

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Lilith your request has been answered! To tell the truth, I had already started before you reviewed…But, I just love it when you tell me anyway! Yessuka, do not freak I promised Friday and it is Friday my dear! You had better have something up by Sunday or you are getting a very nasty PM. Also, I sure hope you have the net now! Thanks for the many hits, I am glad people like me or my story?

Everyone is encouraged to reveiw...


	11. Chapter 11: The Middle

Nope, I still do not own Naruto!

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**Beta'd by Mad Mardigan.**

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Chapter 11: The Middle**

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Ha, you missed the rest of the conversation. That is what you get for hanging out with me! Okay, so it is dark and to tell the truth…I'm a little disappointed I missed the rest of it too. However, I digress and say 'fuck it'! Was it really our business anyway? Shake your head no, because you know I am right. I hate that I am right to, so don't get you underwear in bunch. Ha! I made a joke and you thought it was funny. I let my eyes adjust for a moment and I can see his silhouette. He sleeps on his stomach and his back is perfect. At least I think so, the more I think about it…he is just perfect period. To tell the truth I think I am just a little obsessed with him. I cannot help myself, I find him perfect in every way possible! You know and I know that this will never leave my head.

I am so awkward in my head and my eyes are traitors! The nerve of my eyes to show emotion that I dare not show on my face or my body for that matter! Here I thought I had this emotions thing under control, but no! One body part just had to go off and do its own thing, I hate my eyes, or at least, I am very disappointed in them. Whatever, I say fuck it! I try stretch carefully because for one, I know if I don't my ribs will bitch me out and for two, I don't want to wake the night. "Here Red, take these." He has to be a light sleeper because all I did was stretch. He hands me some meds and some water, the moonlight is dancing on his skin. I cannot help but want to touch his skin, but I know how to control my impulses. Besides, I like it better when he touches me first. I hand him back the water and lay back down. I really do not want to talk tonight, because I went to sleep before I heard him answer, that last part. Not mention that, I just want to make him work to touch me, stupid! But, it is so true and I cannot help it!

"You have a way of pissing Karin right off, you know that?" I hate when he whispers, because that makes me want to listen to him even more. I roll over and our faces are only inches apart. His breath smells of vanilla, did I mention that vanilla is my favorite…He fucking made it my favorite. "Karin just needs to point a finger at someone, did you breakup?" I hated to ask, but I had to know. "To tell you the truth Red, I don't know." He does not know? Whom the fuck would know? "Karin doesn't like me and so it is not hard for me to piss her off." He trails his fingers across my lips and it takes everything in me…I mean everything in me, not to capture them in my mouth and start sucking on them.

"That's true. I think she knew that you were important to me." Like I said, I digress and say fuck it! "Does that mean you two are still a couple?" Yup! I asked and you know what! I don't care if it makes me look desperate, but it does…I mean does it really? "She just said she wanted to be with me and then took off walking." He pulled his pillow under his arms. "I was going to follow her, but Sakura stuck her big head out the window and said you looked bad. I got up the stairs and you were sleep." Sakura really dislikes Karin and it was starting to show more, now that Karin was nearly out the door.

"Sakura would have said anything to keep me from going after her." I am glad he recognized it. "Sakura is just that way; it is her way of protecting you." I told you people, cheerleaders were evil. "I know. I just wish I could have talked to Karin." He sighed and that vanilla breath sent chills threw my body. "I am not sure if it is over or if she was just so pissed that all she could do was walk away." Sasuke is cute when he is concerned. "At any rate, I feel like that this thing between her and I is incomplete, somehow." I love it when he shrugs his shoulders, I know I already said it, but he really is perfect.

"Since we're on the Karin thing." You see why I didn't want to talk to him. "I know you heard everything and I'm sorry. What I mean is that, I am not trying to pressure you or anything. I was hoping you wouldn't hear that, but Sakura is so nosy that I'm not surprised." He is right and I sigh. "I mean you know now and I guess I want to know are you okay with how I feel?" Well that is just great! Why would he ask me such a thing! I am dealing with my own shit here! Then here he goes and just adds his own shit to my pile! "You can feel what ever you want. I have no problem with what you do. I am just not good for you and everyone sees it, except you." Yup! I fucking said it and you people know I am right. I have no business with someone like him and the list of why is freaking huge! "For such a brilliant redhead, you sure do say some foolish things. I wish you wouldn't think so hard, it is like you are damning us before I can even get you out the gate good."

What the hell is he talking about? You know this is why I hate talking to the night, because I always end up so confused. "Say what you want, but I know my place. I also know that you are everything a teenage boy is supposed to be. I missed that train by a few hundred kilometers." Sasuke is chuckling. I swear I am not trying to be funny. I am serious, and is he even listening, I mean really listening to me! You know what, I really do not understand this man, and I'm trying really hard people! Why does he want this so bad? That sounds like a sensible question, right? "Why do you want this so bad, it is not like I can pass for a normal human?" Do I really want to know his answer, probably not? But, like I said, I digress and say fuck it!

"That is your problem right there, Red. You're stuck on what looks best and I am stuck on what feels right." His lips press lightly on my forehead. "I want just a yes or no answer this time. Do you want me to love you?" That is like playing Russian roulette, with fucking words! I hate him, and what he does to me. I always want to be irrational and irresponsible when it comes to him. I am fool and I know it! Ain't that the damnedest thing, to know you are a complete and utter fool for one person? But, what can I do…I want to be with him. "Yes." That really did just come out my mouth and for some strange reason. I don't want to take it back. I can feel his hand on my neck and it sends a shiver down my spine. "I have loved you since that evening I found you under the tree." Well, excuse the hell out of me! I knew he was a strange one, from the first time he pressed in to my side. "I will keep on loving you, because you want me to love you." I can feel my skin heating up and his breath lingering on my eyelids. I am not big on smiling, but I sure feel like I should be. It is funny though, my own parent doesn't even love me.

He does though; he loves me so much that he waited for me. "I am not sure if I know how to do this, Sasuke." That was stupid! I read all the time, I have tons of words in my head, and that is all I could come up with! I really am a complete halfwit! "Stop trying to think your way into loving me, just try knowing you want to love me first. Then, maybe we can get your brain to cooperate with the rest of your body." You see, that is why I want this and more importantly, why I really want this. I swear to you people, I never wanted anything in my life. I was just living and praying not cause to much trouble. I even accepted a few things along the way… like not having my father's love and that getting stuffed in a locker was inevitable. Silly I know, but something changed. Sasuke Uchiha and his crew came, changed my life, and now everyday is gift. "Look I know you are still in a lot of pain and you are bound to pass out at anytime. But, you are mine Red, you always have been. I was just waiting for you to realize it." The drugs are kicking in and I cannot help but want to stay awake. Ah, fuck it! He will be here when I wake. I know he will. Because he loves me.

Well, the birds are chirping and the summer flowers have bloomed. It is summer and I hate summer, it is way too bright and for someone who wears all black, I do not fare well in the heat. I tell you what I do love though, I love that I have an amazing boyfriend, a sister who gets on my last nerve, real friends that love me back, and a brother who would go to hell for me. The list is short of course, but just a year ago, that list was even shorter than that. It has been five months since that night. You think I am nuts, right? Well of course you do, because I am! You have missed a lot of stuff and I am so nice that I am going to tell you everything! Let's start small and work our way up, shall we? Karin, what a lovely girl and so mean. Sasuke broke up with her that morning and boy was she pissed off!

The girl started the stupidest of rumors and Sakura got so made that she punched Karin in the face. The girl sort of deserved it, but if you ask me, Kura enjoyed it way to much! I think Karin is dating some dude named Jugo and apparently, she does not like him. As if I give a damn, the girl never liked me very much, so I say fuck it! That leads me to Sakura and Lee. They are together and are very happy. My favorite precious moments, couple are doing well! I still like to watch the two of them. Hinata and Naruto are just too adorable, I love that those two are together. She keeps him calm and focused, both of which all of us are grateful. I love how she encourages him. She really makes him believe in himself.

Kankuro has graduated! He made it through his senior year with no real problems. The idiot really received an athletic scholarship for football. For running into someone else head first, they handout a full scholarship! I am so proud of him and I know he is going to make good use of it. The sad part was Kankuro's school is about an hour away, not sad for me…sad for Shino. That of course changed when Shino got his brand new car…after that, an hour was no longer an issue. The two have become hopelessly dependent on one another. They spend all of their time together and it is so stupid how they even finish one another's sentences. The two of them make a very nice couple and it seems to work for the both of them. Nevertheless, I cannot help but, wonder if it's going to last? I am a realist, people. You know that better than anyone, I mean he will be in college. He will be meeting all sorts of new people. He may even meet someone special, not saying that Shino is not special. Yeah, I know I am thinking too much, but there is a lot of what ifs.

I really do try not to think so much and Sasuke says it does nothing but cause trouble. He is right though, I do have a tendency to piss people off. He is always trying to keep me from over doing it. He is my mine you know. That is right! I am dating the Uchiha brat, for the last five months. You already knew I was a sucker for the night, because I am the moon and the stars. When we started officially dating, I was excited and flipping out…all at the same time. I was so afraid he was going to be shunned for dating an odd one like me. I was freaking out the day before school started back. You should have seen me! I smoked two packs of cigarettes and was paranoid as hell! When we got to school, he had to drag me from the car. I was twitching the whole day. We did get a few stares, but nothing bad really happened. Everyone just seemed to accept it and move on. People still speak to me as little as possible, but they always manage to say hello. Sasuke would probably hurt someone if I were completely ignored. It wouldn't bother me because I don't pay much attention to people anyway. Sasuke has to push into my side, so that I can speak to whoever said hi to me. I would lie and say I'm getting better at paying attention, but you know that would be a lie.

I have been working on expressing my emotions in my body too. The good part is I can at least tell him how I feel. I'm good with the words, but you know that already. Nevertheless, I still have a knack for getting him frustrated and it shows all over his body. You people know, I can be trying at times. It is mostly because, I'm not big on public displays of affection, and it gets to him. Did I mention I am really trying to work on that too? Call me nuts but, I hate the staring eyes and I know it is just me thinking about it too much. Do you blame me though? People do watch us and I know it, but it doesn't seem to bother him. It drives me insane! I feel like a fish that has someone tapping on the glass. When he does get me to kiss, it is always worth the fish in the glass bowl analogy. I must admit, I sure do like kissing him. His kisses are always so soft, tender, and warm. That is all we ever do though, and maybe the occasional heavy petting session, can you feel the disappointment? Yeah me to, I feel it every time he pulls away after some intense making out.

Talk about me expressing my emotions, he says that I express angry and disappointment, pretty damn well. I know I do, because I want…you know…it. I want to have sex like everyone else in a relationship! I know it would be good because it is he and I. I mean do you blame, have you seen the raven? He always says the same thing…_'Red do you really want to be taken like that.'_ I always shout yes and all he does is chuckle softly, I have learned to pout. It developed shortly after I realized I wasn't going to have sex with him right away. I pout and I make sure to do it extra hard, but it makes no difference. I am not sure what we are waiting on, but whatever it is, I sure hope it would hurry up and come! That subject is a little intense so let's move on, shall we?

Wait a minute I think that is it, because everything is still that same. Let me think about it…oh' Neji and Kiba are having sex. Both claim it is purely sexually, but both of them get mad if the other even looks in someone else's direction. I predict that by the end of the summer we will have another couple to add to the ranks. I sure hope so because those two are already getting on my last nerve. Those two are neck and neck with that nutty sister of mine! Speaking of my nutty sister, nothing has really happened with her. Unless you want to count the fact that, she is no longer dwelling on the age difference between her and Shikamaru. He is a genius so I think she should have been grateful that he even liked her, being that she is a crazy and all.

I know I am forgetting something. I just cannot seem to think what it is. Oh' yeah, Itachi and Sasori are exchanging rings and Sasori is going to be an Uchiha. Naruto and Sasuke say it is about time. Naruto's parents said that they had already set a bad example for Sasuke, living in sin like that. Something about living with each other without sharing a last name and why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, I was lost so I just nodded my head. You are officially caught up on the happenings and if I may say, I sure am happy. Right now, I am headed to Konoha Park to meet Sasuke. We do the same thing every Saturday. We meet in the park and he brings a blanket, something to snack on, and we pick a poet to recite. It is fun for us anyway and lame to everyone else. I wonder what else he is bringing now?

"Red, you are hopelessly a whole hour late." I hate time. If you ask me, time is irrelevant anyway. "Buy me watch and my timing may just improve." He smirked, his damned Uchiha smirk. "I am going to have to put that on my list." Just for the record, he is quite serious. I take a seat under the giant sakura tree and he sits across from me and takes off my shoes. I really do love him, but I still haven't said it. He on the other hand, says it all the time. "Red, it is your turn to pick the poet and I brought grapes because that was all Itachi brought back from the Farmer's Market." He rolls my pants while I decide on the poet. I think I should pick one of his favorites, because we always do my favorites. "I choose Jacques Prévert. It has been a while since we did one of your favorites. He nods his head. "I started last time, Red." I hate that he keeps track that drives me nuts.

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***Jacques Prévert is a man who knew what love really was, alot of his stuff will be in my next Chapter. Only my favorites though, sorry.**

**Yessuka, you have promised to deliver the goods and I know I can trust. You better not make me regret this or I am going to kill this story! I will do it! Lithium, I hope you enjoyed last chapter!**

**Everyone encouraged to review...**


	12. Chapter 12: Time well Spent

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto thing! I sure wish I did! I do not own, Jacques Prévert. With all his ideal words, I sure wish I did! I am not trying to teach you anything. I swear, but I am trying to give a taste of really good poetry!

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Beta 'd By Mad Mardigan

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Chapter 12: Time well Spent**

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"Let me think. _Three matches one by one struck in the night. The first to see your face in its entirety, the second to see your eyes, the last to see your mouth, and the darkness all around to remind me of all these, As I hold you in my arms_." He tosses a grape in my mouth. "That was a really good one." I just nod my head, because it is. _"Much water has passed beneath the bridge, And also much blood, But upon the feet of love, Flows a great white stream, and in the gardens of the moon. Where all the days are your festivals, this stream sings in sleep, and this moon is my head, where turns a great blue sun, and this sun is your eyes."_ That is one of his favorites by Jacques and I toss him a grape as he rubs my feet. I really do like Saturdays. "Are you going to go?" He always rushes me, but I have to think because Prévert is not one of my favorites. "You are so pushy." He just smirks as he tugs my leg. "Umm. _An orange upon the table, your dress on the rug, and you in my bed. Sweet present of the present, Freshness of the night, Warmth of my life."_ He just rolls his eyes at me.

"You cannot just do all the easy ones. It is no fun if you do that." I toss him a grape. "Fine! My next turn, I will do one of his more difficult ones." He raises his eyebrow challenging me and I lift my hand. "I swear, Sasuke Uchiha." He licks his lips and I cannot help but want to kiss him. "You want a kiss don't you, my love?" I nod my head, because I really do and I get one. It taste of vanilla and grapes. I let my tongue touch his lips and that will satisfy my craving for a while. "The more I think about it, wasn't Jacques gay?" Sasuke shrugged. "I think so, why?" I bit my lip as I rolled my eyes. "Why was he talking about a dress anyway? Does that mean his boyfriend was a cross dresser or maybe it was because he swung both ways." Sasuke chuckled at me. "He was the artsy type so anything is possible. But it is my turn. We will discuss Jacques Prévert, sexuality later." I just settle back into my spot.

"I have one. _The children who like each other embrace each other standing, against night doors, and the passers-by who pass indicate them of the finger, but the children who like each other, Are for nobody there, And it is only their shade. Which trembles at night, thrilling the rage of the passers-by, their rage, their contempt, their laughs, and their desire. The children who like each other are for nobody there, they are much more far elsewhere than at night, more high than the day, in dazzling clarity of their first love"_ Okay, so he likes the good stuff! He is athletic and smart, I cannot help but love everything about him. "Since I promised more then three lines, I guess I can do…umm. Oh yeah. _Thousands and thousands…Of years. Should never suffice, to tell of the sweet moment of eternity, where you kissed me, where I kissed you, one moment in the light of winter, In Montsouris Park in Paris, In Paris. Upon this Earth, This Earth which is a star."_ He just sighs. "I said a hard one Red. Not another easy one." I eat another grape.

"I beg to differ, that was a hard one." He just shakes his head in disagreement. "I will help you do a hard one and I will even start." He thinks he is so clever and he is, but I already know which one, he wants to do. "Do I have any other choice?" He shrugs. "No, not really. _Remember Barbara, It rained incessantly on Brest that day, and you smiling were walking. In full bloom enrapture streaming something lovely dripping, in the rain, Remember Barbara. It rained incessantly on Brest, and I ran into you on the Street of Siam, You were smiling, and me, I was smiling just the same. Remember Barbara, You who I did not know, you who did not know me, Remember, Remember when even that same day, don't forget. A man beneath a porch was resting, and he cried out your name. Barbara, and you ran towards him beneath the rain, Full bloom enrapture, Something Something_ _Something."_ Did I mention I am not a big fan of this guy. "He was gay, so why was he so worried about Barbara anyway?" He just chuckles.

"Just go on and stop, when you cannot remember." I eat another grape. "Fine, I guess my choices are limited today. Umm..._And you threw yourself into his arms, Remember that Barbara, and don't hate me if I am familiar. I say you to all those I like, Even if I have not seen them save once, I say you to all those who like themselves, Even if I don't know them. Remember Barbara, Don't forget, this rain wise and happy, upon your happy face. On this happy town, this rain on the sea, on the fort, On the Ship of Ouessant. Oh Barbara, What foolishness is war, where have you gone now. In this rain of iron, of fire of ice of blood, and he who had held you in his arms, lovingly. Is he dead disappeared or better living still, oh Barbara, It rains incessantly on Brest."_ He just smirks at me. "Now was that so hard.?" I just nod my head.

Whatever, Red. _Like it had rained before, but it isn't the same and all is decayed, it's a rain of terrible pain and desolation, it's no longer the storm, of iron of ice of blood. Very simply clouds, that die like dogs, like dogs who dissipate, at the waters edge near Brest, and go to decay far from. Far from very far from Brest, Where nothing remains."_ I have to admit. Any time you can get someone who looks like Sasuke to recite poetry, it is a good time in your life. I am just saying. Not just any poetry though. I mean good poetry. His phone rings. I hate when that happens. We have only been away for few hours. Someone just had to call and he just had to answer the phone.

"Alright, just give us about ten minutes. We are in Konoha Park. It is Saturday, you know. Okay, ten minutes or so…Bye." He starts putting my shoes back on. "Wait, who was that?" He looked up with those perfect eyes and I felt my chest tighten. "It was your sister. She said we need to make our way back to the house." I narrow my eyes. If it is not burning down, I see no reason to hurry back.

"Is the house burning down?" He just chuckles and shakes his head. "Am I in some kind of trouble." He just creases his brow. "Is there something you failed to mention, Red?" I just shake my head. "Well at least let me take my turn before we go." He just has that questioning look on his face. "You just don't want to go first, next Saturday." I just nod my head as he finishes tying my shoes. He crosses his legs and nods for me to go ahead. _"I went to the market of birds, and I bought birds for you, my love. I went to the market of flowers, and I bought flowers for you, my love. I went to the market of ironwork, and I bought chains, Heavy chains for you, my love. And then I went to the market of slaves, and I searched for you, but I did not find you, my love."_ He just smirks, and gives me one of his mind-blowing kisses. The one were I cannot help but moan and sigh, all in the same breath. My head is still reeling as he lifts me by my wrist.

"You really are hopeless, my love." He is right, and I just love the fact that it is true. We walk to his car and we hold hands. I hate public displays of affection, but he seems to like it and I always give him a hard time. The least I can do is hold the man's hand, being that I still have not said I love you to him yet. I can say it in my head, but I have not found the courage to let it leave my mouth. I do love him though. I wonder if that is the reason we haven't copulated? One has got to wonder about these things, especially when it comes to this raven. He is always so complex when it comes to certain things.

I wonder if it is as simple as that, he is a clever little fuck. If that is the case, I might never have sex! It is so hard for me to say those three words. The last time I said I love you, was when my mother passed away. It was the last thing I said, before she was cremated. She didn't say it back, of course. After that, I saw no point in saying those words or even letting I love you, linger in my head. Besides, I hadn't heard those words uttered for me again, until he came. Those words were given meaning again, and now I even hear those words from my siblings and friends. I just don't have the courage to use those three words myself. Call me a coward, but I cannot help it. Those words went on my list of things I just don't do. The list that has begun to become meaningless, but it is still there and maybe I am a fool for holding onto it so tightly. Then again, it is all I have left, that is familiar. Everything else is new, and it sort of freaks me out sometimes. I know I am not sure about a lot of things.

"Red, where did you wander off to now?" I look up and sure enough, we are at my house. I really need to work on that, and no one ever reminds me, some help you people are. "I was just thinking that is all. I was thinking that maybe you want me to say…" He just sighs. "I do. I do want you to say I love you before we go any further." I knew it. Well sort of…okay not really. "You do realize that may take a minute or a lifetime." He just kisses my kanji. "I would not have it any other way, because you are you." I am glad one of us has patience, because I am so, not on that train. I want to have sex and I want to have sex. I would say fuck it, but this is just one thing where I cannot throw my hands up. Nope, not this time. This is so unfair on so many levels that I really want to have a tantrum.

Temari meets us at the door and she looks like she is in pain. I would ask but I already know what it means…my father is home. I try to think if I could have done something and I cannot think of anything, I swear it. "Gaara and Sasuke have a seat." My parent knows my name and he used it. I am sure I did not do anything, I think. I take a seat between Shika and Temari. I notice that Shino and Cutter are sitting on the loveseat. Sasuke just takes a seat on the armrest. I wonder what we did, I am sure they did not do anything, me…I am a totally different story. Father is pacing the floor, as if he is nervous. That is odd, because he is always so reserved and serious. "I know that I am not here a lot of the time and I work a lot." He looked at us and at me. Did I do something? Ugh, fuck it!

"It is because I trust you three enough where I can take all types of assignments. I will admit I have neglected my duties as a father quite a bit and I am sorry. I forgot that you three are not adults and sometimes you need someone, but I will always be here for you." He knelt down in front of me and placed his hand on my face. I didn't flinch because he has never hurt me. "You ,Gaara, it just seemed like you died when your mother did. I had no clue how to help or what to say to you, you look so much like her. It just got easier not to say anything and I guess that was the wrong thing to do." He smiled at me, like Cutter does and it was nice. "I am sorry son, and I do love you. I think it is too late for me to be all bossy, but know if you need me. I am just a phone call away." He stood and moved back to the middle of the room. He does love me. He just didn't know what to say to me. I guess I did give up long before he did, though.

"Now, that we are all on the same page, I need to make this short. I am headed out on my next assignment in Washington. I know you are good young adults and I do not need to hover. Also, I know that you are dating and I have no problem with that, just please practice safe sex. I just need you three to know that I trust you. As for you, Shino, Shika, and Sasu. I am watching you and if I think something has happened to my children, you will regret the day your parents conceived you. Do I make myself clear?" The boys just nodded as my father grab his bag and left on yet another trip. He is a man of few words, and I am not despised. I sure am glad I never said it aloud to anyone but, the Uchiha brat. I would feel real stupid right, now if I had ever said it to anyone else. "Well, that was different and interesting." I just nodded in agreement with Cutter's words.

"I mean it is not like Sasuke and Gaara are having sex anyway!" Did I mention, I hate my brother. He is a complete asshole. "I know, what is up with that? You could have sex with that sadist Baki, but not Sasuke?" I roll my eyes, little does she know… I so want to. "Hn, it is not that simple." Thank you very much! "It feels incomplete somehow and I am just waiting until I get confirmation. I will not have sex with someone who cannot say, I love you. It is considered an act of love and I will not do it, with just an unspoken agreement. We both deserve more than that." Excuse the hell out of me, I told you he was too clever. I hate that he does that and he is such a sucky person! That is unfair and just playing dirty. "If it were that simple, don't you think I would have done it already? It is not that easy!" Did I just raise my voice? I look around and everyone looks a little shocked, so yeah I raised my voice.

"I have given you everything I can possible give at this point. I show you, shouldn't that be enough? You have to feel it and I know you see it! So, let's just have sex, its not like my heart is going to change, right afterwards." I feel stupid, I mean really stupid. I am usually a lot calmer, but you go this long and see how you feel! "This is the one case where words speak louder than action, I love you Gaara. I love you so, much that I have developed a patience of sorts. I need you to understand that I love you is not just words to me. It has meaning, real meaning to me." It was just me and him, I see we successfully alienated four people…we are on a roll! I feel angry and horny, and I am sorry! "Sasu, I just want to make love to you, don't you want it. You know I do, every cell in my body screams it. Why can't that be enough for now?" I touch his face and he just looks away. This is stupid! Teenage boys are supposed to be really horny, but I guess Sasuke is too mature for that…Damn!

"Fuck it." He pushed his tongue into my mouth as if, searching for something. God, He tastes so sweet! He starts to pull at my shirt, wait a minute I am not going to do it in the living room. I push him away and he looked a little stunned. "Let's…go to my room." He takes me in his arms and hurries up the stairs; he slams the door with his foot. But, all of his sudden urgency…seems to retreat. He sets me down on the bed and kneels in front of me. "We should at least do this right, since you can't say it." That one really hurt! He places his hand on my cheek as he kisses my neck, my skin is burning everywhere he touches me. God, I crave this man! He pulls my shirt over my head and he kisses my shoulder, then my collarbone, while his hands move over my back in small circles. I cannot control the shiver that runs up my spine. He is so gently and I guess I am forced to be patient…he is for me, after all.

He runs his hands across my ribs as he captures one of my nipples in his mouth. I am starting feel that damn coil in my stomach. I try to take a deep breath, but I moan instead. His mouth feels good as it trails over my skin and I voice it in small moans and hitches of my breath. He slides onto the bed behind and I feel that he really is enjoying himself. "I love you Red and I am want to make sure I take in everything." I just nod my head. I can be patient a little while longer. He slides his hands down my abdomen and I cannot help, but tremble a little. He unbuttons my pants and slides his hand in gently. he knows what he is looking for. When he finds it, he starts to stroke me, tenderly. Making sure to tease the tip with his thumb, and pull down the length of my shaft. I try to keep from moaning his name, but I cannot help it! "Sasu…ke…mmmm." He smiles into my neck. "I love it when you say my name." He lays back and slides my pants off. I am not sure when is happened, but his shirt is off too. I know I am missing stuff, but I can't help myself it is so hard right now, people!

"I need to remember everything about this moment. Do you understand me?" I can be patient for just a little while, longer. He runs his fingers down my chest, making me moan. He is setting me on fire, but I am going to patient…I have to be. He captures my mouth into a kiss and his hand starts to move up and down my length. That damn coil presents itself again and it snaps, I jerk upwards and he holds me there. Placing small kisses down my neck and over my chest. His starts to move his hand again and my body starts to respond. "I love you Gaara and I want to do this right." I just nod. I mean there is no need to rush, right? He slides on top of me and starts to grind our erections together, I am not sure where his pants went, but I am glad. His body crushed against mine, feels so right and I wrap my arms around his neck and I intensify the grinding, but arching my back into him. His hard flesh feels so hot against mine.

He nibbles at my ear and somehow he loosens my hold and trails down my body with his heated mouth. He takes me into his mouth and I moan and cry his name. The wet heat makes me feel dizzy. He is really good at this and yet I don't care why. I can feel that damn coil again, it is about to piss me off! Please just let me have this a little longer and it eases just a little. "I know that you have something for this occasion." He is absolutely correct, I have a half of bottle of lube in my nightstand. "Yeah, but I want to do it. Lay, down and I can do it myself." That was pretty embarrassing, but he does as I ask and I pull the bottle from the stand. However, I still haven't gotten everything I wanted. I kiss him on his lips and I trace every peak and valley of his body with my hands, I hear him whisper my name and I want more. Not to mention that coil in my stomach is still wound a little too tightly.

I place my hand around his length and he shivers, but he keeps his eyes on me. I take him into my mouth. "Gaara…aww…mmmm." I slide a couple of my fingers inside myself to loosen me up, no need in hurting myself because I have time to prepare. After a few minutes, I feel that I am ready. I pull my mouth away and those half-lidded eyes are still watching me. I make sure to use enough and he is thrusting into my hand, which is making me think he is growing impatient. I straddle him but, he grabs me. "You do not have to do this yourself." I lean over and kiss him. "I want to. I have to, because this is how I want it. I love you, Sasuke." Oh yeah, I said it! It felt really good too, and it is quite true. I really do love the Uchiha brat and besides he has loved me since the day he saw me. He kisses me so passionately that my breathing in labored, once again. I sit up trying to regain my composure, but I can't, once his hand starts to move up and down my length. I position myself and I push down, sliding him into me. My breath hitches, because it has been a while and the Uchiha was not an easy task. I try not to focus on the immediate pain, now that I am fully seated, but it is a little obvious. I sit there for a minute, letting myself adjust to the new feeling.

I pick my hips up and I slam back down. Sasuke moans something completely incoherent. I start to move a little more, gradually picking up my pace. I am hitting my spot, so this position is really nice. Sasuke looks like he is about to burst. He starts to thrust up and it spends a sensation through my body that makes me scream. I bite down on my lip, trying to keep from screaming his name. But, the attempt is futile. The sound of his name pushes its way out of my lungs and past my lips. I am not even above begging. "Push inside of me…Sasuke….please!" That damn coil is back and it wants its due for it patience. I force my body down hard on last time and cum. I can feel his strong arms around me and he sings my name, "Gaara…" It felt right and I noticed I had put my arms around his neck. I take the opportunity to smell his nape. It smells of musk and rain, like a deep dark forest. "I love you, Sasuke. And I guess I am sorry for making you wait." He kissed my neck and my skin tingles. "I love you too and I never minded waiting in the least." I start to move up and down, what can I say…I love the night.

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Yessuka, my dear friend. I am still debating if to continue this story or just start, a new story where, they go to college? I have not idea but, I am sure you, Lithium, Kaayra, and Kristina…will let me know what you guys are thinking. Heaven, I haven't forgotten about you either! Thanks for all the love and support, I think I am going to drop this in the complete pile for a while. Love to all past, present, and future reviewers, and just plain old readers!

**Everyone is encouraged to review, of course**.

**Jacques Prévert's poems that were used, he was a man that had a hell of a way with words. (In the order the order used)**

***Paris at Night**

***The Stream**

***Alicante**

***The Children Who Like each other**

***The Garden**

***Barbara**

***For You My Love**


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